Week in Sloth
The Week in Sloth
“The Office” (NBC 8 p.m.) Pam and Jim are finally getting married. They do it in Niagara Falls in the hopes that the office staff won’t tag along. But they do, and, quite naturally, hijinks ensue.
“Ugly Betty” (ABC 7 p.m.) Once ABC’s darling, “Ugly Betty” gets exiled to a much less attractive Friday night slot.
“I’m Alive” (Animal Planet 7 p.m.) Hear the inspiring true stories of people who have been mauled, bitten, clawed, trampled or otherwise molested by wild animals. ... Title’s a bit of a spoiler, though.
Megafault (SyFy 7 p.m.) Jeez, SyFy, why didn’t you just call your crummy new disaster movie Epic Fail?
“The Relic Hunter With Ian Grant” (Travel Channel 8 p.m.) He’s not a gun-wielding archaeologist or anything—he’s just a shopper with an exotic home decorating store in Minnesota—but he scored a travel show out of it, so good for him.
Delgo (Cartoon Network 7 p.m.) Did you see last year’s computer-animated toon Delgo? Of course not. It had the lowest per-theater gross of any wide release in American film history. (The $40 million film earned just $511,920 on 2,160 screens.) So here it is for free! Don’t say basic cable never gave you anything.
“The Girls Next Door” (E! 11:30 p.m.) A new season, a new group of contractually obligated “girlfriends” for Hugh Hefner.
“Leave It To Lamas” (E! 12 a.m.) Unfortunately, not a reality show about the South American pack animals known as llamas, but a reality show about the equally hairy family of Lorenzo Lamas. ... Huh, the llamas sound more interesting.
“Monster” (SyFy 9 p.m.) SyFy’s Monday night anime launches an intriguing new series based on the 1994 manga series by Naoki Urasawa. The 74-episode series follows a Japanese doctor in Germany who saves the life of a young boy. Years later, the boy returns, a seemingly unstoppable serial killer. Wracked by guilt and hunted by police over crimes he didn’t commit, the doctor pursues his one-time patient across Europe, trying to unearth the young murderer’s mysterious past.
“2009 Hip Hop Honors” (VH1 7 p.m.) See, at this point, people are just gonna tune in to see what crazy crap Kanye pulls now.
“Mary Queen of Shops” (BBC America 7 p.m.) Mary Portas is apparently a “retail expert.” (She wrote a book, so she must be.) In this six-part BBC series, Portas teaches viewers the tricks of the trade, so they can score the best shopping deals. ... Although, since the show is British, it’ll probably teach you how to get cheap knickers, rubber wellies and tins of spotted dick.
“Mythbusters” (Discovery 7 p.m.) Finally! An entire hour with nothing but duct tape.