Week in Sloth
The Week in Sloth
See Idiot Box above.
Psychomania (TCM Midnight) Why aren’t there more living dead motorcycle gang films? Not that this 1973 U.K. film is a classic or anything, but it has zombies on choppers. I mean, how can you go wrong?
The National Tree (Hallmark 6 p.m.) OK, now that the whole Thanksgiving thing is over with, we can get straight into Christmas, Christmas, Christmas. ... Here, to start us off, is a tear-jerking road movie about a father and son delivering a big-ass spruce tree to the White House. It stars Andrew McCarthy. (Wasn’t he dreamy in Pretty in Pink?)
Beyond Sherwood Forest (SyFy 7 p.m.) In this goof-tacular SyFy movie, Robin Hood and Maid Marian go all Mulder and Scully to investigate assorted supernatural threats to Sherwood Forest.
“Your Pet Wants This” (Animal Planet 7 p.m.) Honestly, what she doesn’t know won’t hurt her.
The Dog Who Saved Christmas (ABC Family 6 p.m.) Hey, what could be more heart-melting than puppies and Christmas?
A Dog Named Christmas (KRQE-13 8 p.m.) ... Well, that answers that question: homeless puppies, a developmentally disabled hero and Christmas.
“The 25th Anniversary Rock and Roll Hall of Fame Concert” (HBO 6 p.m.) The first inductees came in 1986 and the Hall of Fame itself wasn’t actually opened until 1995, but who cares? It’s only rock ’n’ roll! Among the performers at this massive concert are Bruce Springsteen, Billy Joel, Stevie Wonder, Smokey Robinson, U2, Mick Jagger, The Black Eyed Peas, Aretha Franklin, Metallica, Eric Clapton and Simon & Garfunkel.
“2009 Soul Train Awards” (BET 7 p.m.) Don Cornelius is out on probation, Michael Jackson is named Entertainer of the Year and Chaka Khan is among the honorees. ... Wow, it’s like 1984 never died.
“Mysterious Hanging Coffins of China” (Science 8 p.m.) No idea what those are, but they sound awesome.
“Prep & Landing” (KOAT-7 7:30 p.m.) A pair of CGI elves work in an elite division of Santa’s Christmas Eve crew, securing houses for the imminent arrival of Santa’s sleigh.
“Ideal: Christmas 2009” (IFC 8:30 p.m.) The British drug-dealing sitcom gets all warm and fuzzy for the holidays.
“The Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show” (KRQE-13 9 p.m.) CBS gives us the gift of scantily clad women.
“Radio City Christmas Spectacular Starring the Rockettes” (KNME-5 9 p.m.) They’re not as scantily clad as the Victoria’s Secret girls, but they’ve got great gams.
“Christmas in Rockefeller Center 2009” (KOB-4 7 p.m.) Is it weird that GE puts up Rockefeller’s massive energy-sucking Christmas tree every year?
“Conspiracy Theory with Jesse Ventura” (truTV 8 p.m.) Jesse Ventura says he’s the perfect man to host this series investigating assorted tinfoil-hat theories because he’s been exposed to countless top secret government documents. ... Was this during your stint in the WWF or over the course of your single term as governor of Minnesota, Jesse?
“Steven Seagal: Lawman” (A&E 8 p.m.) Honestly, I think I was more comfortable with Eric Estrada as a real-life, reality show cop.