Week in Sloth
Upcoming TV Highlights
“Jersey Shore” (MTV 11 p.m.) Eight young people come together for the summer to live, work and par-tay drunkenly in Seaside Heights, N.J. ... I must admit I’m starting to actually admire MTV’s reality show mission to chronicle the daily lives of people who never do or say anything remotely interesting, but do look marketably hot in swimwear.
“Dreams Come True: A Celebration of Disney Animation” (KOAT-7 7 p.m.) Or “Dreams Come True: An Hour-Long Commercial for Disney’s Princess and the Frog.” Whichever works for you.
“Monk” (USA 7 p.m.) Eight seasons after inheriting the title of “The One Lebanese Dude Middle America Likes” from Casey Kasem, Tony Shalhoub signs off as crazy crimesolver Adrian Monk. Next up? Praying for a “Wings” reunion.
12 Men of Christmas (Lifetime 7 p.m.) Broadway baby Kristin Chenoweth gets all rom-comy as a New York publicist who convinces a bunch of small-town Montana firemen to pose for a saucy charity calendar.
Alice (SyFy 7 p.m.) SyFy gives Lewis Carroll’s phantasmagorical fairy tale a modern-day sci-fi updating.
“Beats by Dr. Dre: Sound Really Matters” (HSN 9 p.m.) Yeah. You heard right. West Coast rap pioneer Dr. Dre of Niggaz Wit Attitudes is hawking headphones on Home Shopping Network. That’s straight up gangsta!
“Sexpo: Australia” (G4 8 p.m.) Porn star Sasha Grey leads us on a tour of the infamous Australian trade show dedicated to sex.
“Chainsaw Ice Sculptors” (TLC 8 p.m.) Art’s always better when there’s a good chance of someone losing a limb.
“Robin Williams: Weapons of Self Destruction” (HBO 7 p.m.) Robin Williams hasn’t had a stand-up special in a mighty long time. He hasn’t been funny in a mighty long time, either. So approach with trepidation.
“Shatner’s Raw Nerve” (Biography 8 p.m.) This eerily compelling chat show returns for a second season with The Shat grilling Rush Limbaugh. ... I think I had a dream like that once.
Burn Up (Planet Green 7 p.m.) The environmentally conscious network takes a break from documentaries to try a splashy miniseries about the various intrigues surrounding a global-warming conference in Calgary. Neve Campbell and Bradley Whitford act it. Simon Beaufoy (Slumdog Millionaire) writes it.
“Men of a Certain Age” (TNT 8 p.m.) Three pals (Ray Romano, Andre Braugher and Scott Bakula) experience mid-life crisis in this new comedy-drama.
“Better Off Ted” (KOAT-7 8:30 p.m.) A return from obscurity or a last gasp before permanent hiatus? Who cares! Enjoy this nutty, brilliantly cast workplace sitcom while you can.
“Outer Space Astronauts” (SyFy 7:30 p.m.) This oddball, cut-and-paste animated spoof of “Star Trek” is executive produced by David O. Russell (Spanking the Monkey, I Heart Huckabees).
“Barbara Walters Presents: The 10 Most Fascinating People of 2009” (KOAT-7 9 p.m.) So long as Jon and Kate aren’t 9 and 10.
La lengua de las mariposas/