Week in Sloth
The Week in Sloth
“Egypt’s Animal Mummies” (Animal Planet 7 p.m.) I sense a SyFy Channel movie in the making.
“2009 Hollywood Christmas Parade” (KASY-50 7 p.m.) Only in Hollywood could you hear the words “Grand Marshal Susan Lucci.”
“Yes, Virginia” (KRQE-13 7 p.m.) CBS presents a new animated special inspired by the true story of Virginia O’Hanlon, who in 1897 wrote a perennially famous letter to the editor questioning the veracity of Santa Claus. She got the greatest response in the history of newspaper editorial. And now, a cartoon. Way to go, Virginia.
“Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer” (KRQE-13 7 p.m.) If you see only one Rankin-Bass stop-motion animated special this season, make it the one with the little mutant reindeer, Hermey (the elf who wants to be a dentist), Bumble the Abominable Snowman, Yukon Cornelius and the Island of Misfit Toys.
“Spike TV’s Video Game Awards 2009” (Spike 6 p.m.) Let the raging annual debate begin. Best Independent Game Fueled by Mountain Dew: Flower or Osmos?
“Ghost Intervention” (TLC 7 p.m.) What is this? Ghosts on drugs? I’m confused, Dr. Drew.
“I Dreamed A Dream: The Susan Boyle Story” (TV Guide 7 p.m.) Too soon, I’m thinking. At least wait for the inevitable drug or sex scandal. ... I’m really hoping it’s not a sex scandal.
“The Jacksons: A Family Dynasty” (A&E 7 p.m.) Relax, Michael wasn’t going to show up on this thoroughly unnecessary reality show anyway. Janet either. Or La Toya even. But there’s plenty of Tito to go around.
“Christmas at the White House: An Oprah Primetime Special” (KOAT-7 9 p.m.) When you think about it, Oprah is kind of the healthy adult equivalent of a Make-A-Wish child. Wanna spend Christmas at the White House? Sure, come on over, Oprah!
“The Sing-Off” (KOB-4 7 p.m.) Lest you think this is just a belated rip-off of “American Idol,” I’ll have you know that the singers in this reality show competition audition sans musical accompaniment. ... Which, come to think of it, is how they audition on “American Idol.” Oh well, carry on.
“Bank of Hollywood” (E! 11 p.m.) Ordinary people beg celebrities for money. Years ago, this would have gotten you arrested, not your own TV show.
“Gordon Ramsay: Cookalong Live” (KASA-2 8 p.m.) No way. I just know the guy is gonna curse me out for my *&%#ing sloppy knife work.
“Funniest Commercials of the Year: 2009” (TBS 8 p.m.) Hey, so long as there are plenty of talking babies, I’m a happy man.
“Ghost Hunters” (SyFy 7 p.m.) On tonight’s season finale: the Hindenburg crash site. Which, when you think about it, gives you pretty good mathematical odds of running into a ghost.