Week in Sloth
The Week in Sloth
“Disney Parks Christmas Day Parade” (KOAT-7 9 p.m.) Kelly Ripa gets Disney World, while Ryan Seacrest handles the Disneyland portion. The Jonas Brothers and Demi Lovato are cattle-prodded out of their Disney-imagineered holding cells and forced to perform.
“ ’Til Death” (KASA-2 7 p.m.) FOX burns off four new episodes of this crummy sitcom on Christmas Day. Thanks for the lump of coal, Santa.
Holmes for Christmas (TCM 6 p.m.) Turner Classic latches onto the coattails of this Christmas’ big-budget Sherlock Holmes movie starring Robert Downey Jr. by digging a bunch of classic Holmes mysteries out of the vault: 1939’s The Hound of the Baskervilles, 1939’s The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes, 1970’s The Private Life of Sherlock Holmes and 1931’s Sherlock Holmes’ Fatal Hour.
“Doctor Who: The End of Time” (BBC America 7 p.m.) First, the bad news: This two-part special is David Tennant’s final turn as Doctor Who. Now, the good news: It’s a two-part David Tennant “Doctor Who” featuring special guests from throughout his run ... including the return of a certain villainous Time Lord. Set the TiVos. You’re gonna wanna watch this again.
The Sound of Music (KOAT-7 6 p.m.) AKA: The movie to show when no one’s watching.
“Everest: Beyond the Limit” (Discovery 6 p.m.) Discovery returns with the third season of this ill-advised docureality show in which assorted questionable mountain climbers (asthmatics, senior citizens, double amputees) try to break some sort of record by scaling Mount Everest. As always, there’s a good chance one of the people on screen will die.
“MythBusters” (Discovery 7 p.m.) The MythBusters move to Mondays by tackling six viewer-suggested “mini myths.”
“Motor City Motors” (Discovery 8 p.m.) Gearheads and grease monkeys slap together hotrods to win prizes in Discovery’s new build-off competition.
“32nd Annual Kennedy Center Honors” (KRQE-13 8 p.m.) Funnyman Mel Brooks, jazz composer Dave Brubeck, mezzo-soprano Grace Bumbry, actor Robert De Niro and rocker Bruce Springsteen are honored. Can’t wait for the end-of-show jam session on this one.
“One Big Happy Family” (TLC 7 p.m.) It’s a new reality show in which mom, dad and their two kids are all morbidly obese. In other words: They’re the average American family.
“Rudolph’s Shiny New Year” (KOAT-7 7 p.m.) AKA: “Rudolph’s Really Pushing His Seasonal Limit.”
“The Imploders” (TLC 8 p.m.) TLC’s new docureality series follows a married couple whose job it is to blow things up with high explosives. Thank god Jon and Kate didn’t have that career.
“The Real World” (MTV 11 p.m.) MTV’s venerable reality show enters its 23rd season, making it older than most of the housemates hanging out, hot-tubbing, getting drunk, macking on one another and fighting this season in Washington, D.C.