Week in Sloth
The Week in Sloth
“Sliced” (History 8 p.m.) So, yeah. This new series cuts stuff in half to learn how it works. While the idea of buzz-sawing a pool table or a car in two sounds like momentary fun, I’m pretty sure there are easier ways to figure out how they function.
“Project Runway” (Lifetime 8 p.m.) Bryant Park is underway, and somebody’s gonna walk away with the top prize. My money’s on Emilio.
“David Blaine: What Is Magic?” (Travel Channel 8 p.m.) Lemme guess, Dave: You standing in a block of ice for several days? You sitting underwater for several days? You perched on top of a tall pole for several days?
“Gravity” (STARZ 8:30 p.m.) STARZ picks an unusual setting for its new dramedy: a support group for people who have attempted suicide. Among the death-obsessed cast are Krysten Ritter, Ving Rhames and Rachel Hunter.
“Ben 10: Ultimate Alien” (Cartoon Network 9 p.m.) See, tween boys. I told you not to worry about the recent series finale of “Ben 10: Alien Force.” Here’s your cartoon, newly spiffed up, with a slightly different title and a whole new line of toys available for purchase at Wal-Mart.
Mothman (SyFy 7 p.m.) Poor Mothman. He just doesn’t land as many cheesy horror movies as his cryptid brethren. Bigfoot’s got an entire film festival dedicated to him. Hell, even the chupacabra has a few films under his belt. Well, at least Mothman makes the leap to SyFy Original Movie status.
You Don’t Know Jack (HBO 7 p.m.) Al Pacino is frighteningly believable as slightly nutty assisted-suicide advocate Dr. Jack Kevorkian. Susan Sarandon, Danny Huston, Brenda Vaccaro and John Goodman round out the cast of this winking biopic.
“Into the Universe With Stephen Hawking” (Discovery 7 p.m.) Smartest man in the world Stephen Hawking discusses aliens, time travel and more. We respond by sharing an amusing anecdote about our cat.
“2010 TV Land Awards” (TV Land 7 p.m.) Mel Brooks and Carl Reiner get saluted, the cast of “Everybody Loves Raymond” reunites. “Glee” is named a “Future Classic” and Blondie performs. My pop cultural radar is confused.
“Bizarre Food With Andrew Zimmern” (Travel Channel 8 p.m.) Andrew is back doing what he does best (I guess): eating strange crap from around the world. Tonight’s season premiere takes him to Thailand.
“The Hills” (MTV 11 p.m.) It’s the sixth season premiere. ... Wait. What? I thought this damn show was finally off the air.
“The Battle for Late Night” (A&E 8 p.m.) What the hell just happened in the late night talk show wars? A&E breaks it down for us.
“Happy Town” (KOAT-7 9:01 p.m.) ABC unveils its creepy “Twin Peaks”-ish series about a shocking murder in a seemingly idyllic small town.
“Sunset Daze” (WE 11 p.m.) What if you crossed “The Jersey Shore” with “Golden Girls”? Wonder no more.