Week in Sloth
The Week in Sloth
“Burn Notice” (USA 7 p.m.) USA’s “retired spy still doing spy stuff” series returns for a fourth season.
“NBA Finals” (KOAT-7 7 p.m.) I don’t know much about sports, but I gather that I’m supposed to be rooting for Team Jacob.
“2010 Scripps National Spelling Bee” (KOAT-7 7 p.m.) Chris Harrison from “The Bachelorette” hosts. Maybe he’ll get some of the young nerds on stage to hook up—just out of habit.
“The Neistat Brothers” (HBO 10 p.m.) The Neistat brothers—makers of some 200 film festival, art museum and YouTube shorts—get their own show. Instead of your standard reality show, however, Van and Casey Neistat shoot crazy cool shorts about their lives.
“Three Rivers” (KRQE-13 7 p.m.) It’s summertime, so networks are clearing their closets of unwanted shows—hence, the return of this already canceled CBS drama about ... I forget. Doctors or lawyers: one of the two.
“2010 MTV Movie Awards” (MTV 7 p.m.) Aziz Ansari from NBC’s “Parks and Recreation” hosts.
“Kate Plus 8” (TLC 7 p.m.) Thank Christ this show is back, because I’m desperate to find out what’s been happening to Kate since she appeared on the season finale of “Dancing With the Stars” last week!
“The Making of the Wizarding World of Harry Potter” (KOB-4 9 p.m.) Even if you wanted to go and even if you could afford it, you probably can’t get tickets for the next year and a half. So, this half-hour commercial is as close as you’re gonna get to the new Harry Potter theme park.
“Last Comic Standing” (KOB-4 7 p.m.) Craig Robinson from NBC’s “The Office” hosts. This and the MTV Movie Awards make it a good week for supporting actors from NBC’s Thursday night comedies.
“Paranatural” (National Geographic 7 p.m.) NG’s new show looks for scientific explanations to odd meteoric phenomena. Tonight’s premier covers blood rain and star jelly. The Welsh called it pwdre ser. H.P. Lovecraft called it “The Colour Out of Space” and said it was a harbinger of the Outer God Yog-Sothoth. ... Hey, I’m just saying.
“Persons Unknown” (KOB-4 9 p.m.) Christopher McQuarrie (The Usual Suspects) created this surreal summer drama about a group of strangers who wake up in a deserted town and must work together to puzzle out who they are and what they’re doing there. ... Starring in a remake of Identity from the sound of it.
“Pretty Little Liars” (ABC Family 6 p.m.) Another young adult book series becomes “Desperate Housewives” for teens.
“Glee” (KASA-2 7:59 p.m.) Believe it or not, this is still only the first season finale.
“The Little Couple” (TLC 8 p.m.) Thrill as people of below average height shop for bathroom sinks! Wow, TLC, these little people of yours are just like real humans!
“U.S. Navy: Pirate Hunters” (Spike TV 9 p.m.) Awesome title, brah!
“You’re Cut Off!” (VH1 7 p.m.) Nine rich, spoiled brats end up in “princess rehab” in VH1’s newest reality romp.
“Through the Wormhole With Morgan Freeman” (Science 8 p.m.) If you’re gonna go through the wormhole, Morgan Freeman is a pretty good choice of companions. My No. 1 choice: Patrick Stewart.