Week in Sloth
Seven days of tubelicious treats and terrors
“Bethenny Getting Married?” (BRAVO 8 p.m.) She’s one of the “Real Housewives of New York City.” And she’s getting married. And she sold her impending nuptials as a reality show. There isn’t a single one of those sentences that piques my interest. You may feel differently. In which case, enjoy!
“Penn & Teller: Bullshit!” (Showtime 8 p.m.) The cheeky magicians kick off their eighth season by debunking ... cheerleaders? Either the pair has run out of legitimate targets or this is some seriously delayed high school revenge.
“2010 FIFA World Cup Kick-Off Celebration Concert” (KOAT-7 7 p.m.) Well, places like Portugal and Brazil are excited, anyway.
“Dual Survival” (Discovery 8 p.m.) Rather than create two more “Man vs. Wild” clones, Discovery sticks two “survival experts” (one kinda hippie, one kinda redneck) together and lets them duke it out “Odd Couple” style.
Stonehenge Apocalypse (SyFy 7 p.m.) Those two words don’t even make sense together. And yet, as the title of a SyFy Channel Original Movie, they rock.
“The 64th Annual Tony Awards” (KRQE-13 7 p.m.) According to Newsweek, Sean Hayes (“Will & Grace”) is too gay to play straight on Broadway. ... But apparently, he’s not too gay to host the Tonys.
“Extreme Poodles” (TLC 7 p.m.) Those two words don’t even make sense together. And yet, as the title of a SyFy Channel Original Movie ... wait, what? It’s not? Well then, screw it.
“True Blood” (HBO 7 p.m.) The third season launches with plenty of the two things Twilight seriously lacks: blood and sex.
“Holly’s World” (E! 11:30 p.m.) If I had to choose the most vapid of Hugh Hefner’s fake ex-girlfriends from “The Girls Next Door,” I’d shoot myself in the head. Lacking access to a loaded firearm, I’d choose Holly. Here, she gets her own solo reality show. Instead of having a baby with a basketball player (à la Kendra), she’s stripping in Las Vegas. At least it’s realistic.
“The Hard Times of RJ Berger” (MTV 11 p.m.) Seth Grahame-Smith (author of Pride and Prejudice and Zombies) created this raunchy high school sitcom. Go figure.
“Food Buddha” (TLC 8 p.m.) I guarantee they came up with the title first.
“It’s Effin’ Science” (G4 7 p.m.) G4 gives us “MythBusters” with even more attitude.
“Bert the Conqueror” (Travel 8 p.m.) Bert’s an ordinary dude who takes on America’s most insane challenges, competitions and thrill rides so we don’t have to.
“Hot in Cleveland” (TV Land 8 p.m.) Sitcom vets Valerie Bertinelli (“One Day at a Time”), Jane Leeves (“Frasier”), Wendie Malick (“Just Shoot Me!”) and Betty White (“The Golden Girls”) star in TV Land’s first scripted series (non-rerun category).