Week in Sloth
The Week in Sloth
“Jimmy Buffett & Friends: Live From the Gulf Coast” (CMT 9 p.m.) Jimmy Buffett and a band of what I’m assuming are drunks join the likes of Kenny Chesney, Zac Brown, Allen Toussaint, Sonny Landreth and Jesse Winchester for a concert on the Gulf Shores Parkway to promote tourism. You have BP to thank for this one.
“Ace of Cakes: 100 Episodes of Cake” (Food Network 8 p.m.) Honesty, I’m thinking this special, ninth season premiere episode is only succeeding in pointing out the utter tedium of the show’s premise. Are we really clamoring for “101 Episodes of Cake”?
“America Celebrates July 4th at Ford’s Theatre” (KOAT-7 8 p.m.) Frankly, America’s jumping the gun a little. But at least it’s got Kelly Clarkson, Dick Van Dyke, George Lopez, Lionel Richie, Gen. Colin Powell and the cast of Broadway’s Mary Poppins.
“Miami Medical” (KRQE-13 9 p.m.) And with tonight’s series finale, a show we never realized arrived in the first place goes away for good.
“Dolly Celebrates 25 Years of Dollywood” (Hallmark 6 p.m.) Follow it up with a heaping helping of Dolly Parton in the 1986 made-for-TV movie A Smoky Mountain Christmas at 7 p.m. It co-stars Lee Majors. In it, “a country singer and a mountain man rescue seven runaway orphans from a sheriff and a witch.” ... I swear, I did not make that up.
“Three Rivers” (KRQE-13 7 p.m.) Between this series finale and the series finale of “Miami Medical,” it’s a bad week to be an actor on a CBS medical drama.
“A Capitol Fourth” (KNME-5 7 p.m.) Jimmy Smits hosts. Reba McEntire, Darius Rucker and former Duke boy John Schneider perform. ... Somehow, this, too, is Obama’s fault.
“Macy’s 4th of July Fireworks Spectacular” (KRQE-13 8 p.m.) Justin Bieber will be there. As will the cast of the new Twilight film. Expect lots and lots of screaming!
“Anthony Bourdain: No Reservations” (Travel 8 p.m.) Tony kicks off his sixth season in proper style—island hopping in the Caribbean.
“Afraid of the Dark” (History 7 p.m.) Yup. Experts trace the history of nyctophobia.
“Warehouse 13” (Syfy 7 p.m.) The second season of Syfy’s “X-Files”-meets-“Hoarders” TV show gets underway.
“Table for 12: Hayes Get a Puppy” (TLC 8 p.m.) So ... um, yeah. In this one-hour “Table for 12” special, prolific breeders Betty and Eric promise their kids a puppy if they complete a long list of spring-cleaning chores. ... That, my friends, is riveting reality TV.
“Louie” (FX 9 p.m.) Louis C.K. lands a choice cameo—Ricky Gervais as a sarcastic doctor.
“The Choir” (BBC America 8 p.m.) After much deliberation, BBC programmers come up with the next minor variation in the singing competition reality show. This time around, the contestants are in a choir!