Week in Sloth

The Week in Sloth

 

“Project Runway” (Lifetime 7 p.m.) Now that they’ve got it, Lifetime Network wastes little time cranking out another season of sewing and criticizing.

“On the Road With Austin and Santino” (Lifetime 8:30 p.m.) Santino Rice (the egotistical designer with the weird dresses and the wicked Tim Gunn impression) joins forces with Austin Scarlett (the gay designer who ... um, the flamboyantly gay designer who ... Nope, still not narrowing it down enough. ... Eh, yet another “Project Runway” loser) travel around the country making prom dresses and the like for people.

“Jersey Shore” (MTV 11 p.m.) Ecch. There’s a second season? You brought this on yourself, America.

“Dangerous Encounters: Cannibal Squid” (National Geographic 7 p.m.) For other squid, maybe. Not for me.

Jack Hunter and the Lost Treasure of Ugarit (Syfy 7 p.m.) This was originally a six-hour miniseries. Unfortunately (or not), Syfy is only airing the first two hours as a stand-alone movie. On the plus side, fans of belated, made-in-Turkey rip-offs of Indiana Jones have two more of these to look forward to.

“Sons of Tucson” (KASA-2 6:30 p.m.) The Tyler Labine-led sitcom disappears into the sunset with a series finale.

“Rubicon” (AMC 7 p.m.) James Badge Dale (“The Pacific”), Arliss Howard (Full Metal Jacket) and Miranda Richardson (The Crying Game) star in this thriller about intelligence analysts caught in the midst of a global conspiracy—which sounds like it will require weekly attention and much TiVoing to figure out what the hell’s going on.

“Ultimate Air Jaws” (Discovery 7 p.m.) You can tell by the flying great whites it must be Shark Week again on Discovery.

“Money Hungry” (VH1 7 p.m.) A reality show in which fat people compete to see who can lose the most weight? What’s the matter with you, VH1? Weren’t you listening last week when I ranted about redundant TV series? ... Fatwa on you!

“Aftermath With William Shatner” (Biography 8 p.m.) William Shatner ditches celebrities for infamous, real-life headline-grabbers, meaning we get to see The Shat chatting with the likes of Bernie Goetz and Mary Kay Letourneau. Sign me up!

“18 to Life” (KWBQ-19 8 p.m.) Sure sign No. 18 that networks are desperate to fill their schedules with absolutely anything over the long, hot, rerun-filled summer: imported Canadian sitcoms.

“Scrappers” (Spike 8 p.m.) And this week’s “Boring Blue Collar Jobs That Don’t Currently Have a Docu-Reality Show” wheel of fortune lands on ... scrap dealers!

“Chris Angel: Mindfreak” (A&E 8 p.m.) This guy is still on the air? It’s not that he’s a crummy magician. It’s just that I got my fill of guyliner, leather pants and chest medallions after the first couple seasons.