“My Generation” (KOAT-7 7 p.m.) TV, like movies, is trying desperately to embrace “new media”—whatever the hell that is. Personally, I’d prefer they just shot TV shows and movies instead of fake cell phone recordings, faux YouTube videos, phony digital camera documentaries and the like. But I guess I’m swimming against the tide these days. This new scripted drama is set among the students of a Texas high school who are being followed by a (not real) reality show camera crew. It’s also set 10 years in the future, when the previously mentioned (not real) camera crew catches up to the former students in their late 20s.
“$#*! My Dad Says” (KRQE-13 7:30 p.m.) While the idea of turning Twitter feeds into TV shows is terrifying, you have to admit that casting William Shatner as a cranky old dad is funny.
“Outsourced” (KOB-4 8:30 p.m.) “The Office” is kinda working for NBC. So here’s “The Office” set in India.
“Blue Bloods” (KRQE-13 9 p.m.) CBS is taking a gamble by putting new, original programming on the wasteland that is Friday night. Then again, most of CBS’ demographic is geriatric and doesn’t get out of the house much on weekends. Here, Tom Selleck plays the patriarch of a multigenerational cop family.
“Meat & Potatoes” (Food 8 p.m.) Love Food Network but have the lousy, limited culinary tastes of the average Midwesterner? Food Network’s new show won’t expose you to anything crazy like fois gras or sushi or green vegetables. Just meat and potatoes. Maybe ketchup.
“Sex Robot” (Discovery Health 11 p.m.) So far, the future may not offer flying jet packs or moon hotels, but I’d settle for a good sex robot.
Sharktopus (Syfy 7 p.m.) You had me at “Sharktopus.”
“The Simpsons” (KASA-2 7 p.m.) The cast of “Glee” shows up on the season premiere episode, titled “Elementary School Musical.” I think there’s singing.
“Metalocalypse” (Cartoon Network 10:30 p.m.) Adult Swim’s headbanging cartoon returns from its long hiatus to rock our world once again.
“Ancient X-Files” (National Geographic 7 p.m.) “The X-Files” went off the air in 2002. In TV terms, that’s pretty ancient. But NatGeo is talking even older. Like Biblical older.
“Glee” (KASA-2 7 p.m.) Britney Spears shows up, acting like it’s 2001 and we actually care.
“No Ordinary Family” (KOAT-7 7 p.m.) Michael Chiklis (“The Shield”) stars in a live-action remake of The Incredibles. ... Or possibly a third Fantastic Four movie. ... Or maybe (and this seems the least likely, frankly) a totally “original” series about a family of four who gain incredible powers and become superheroes.
“Trash Inc: The Secret Life of Garbage” (CNBC 7 p.m.) Apparently, garbage is a $52 billion a year industry here in America. ... Hey, just cause you’re rich doesn’t mean you’re interesting.