“Happy New Year, Charlie Brown” (KOAT-7 7 p.m.) Why no love for Arbor Day, Peanuts gang?
“Dick Clark’s Primetime New Year’s Rockin’ Eve With Ryan Seacrest 2011” (KOAT-7 9 p.m.) Willow Smith performs. Isn’t it past her bedtime?
“NBC New Year’s Eve With Carson Daly” (KOB-4 9 p.m.) Bono and The Edge show off tunes from Spider-Man: Turn Off The Dark. Odds are one of them will be injured.
New Year’s Eve Live With Anderson Cooper and Kathy Griffith (CNN 10 p.m.) Um. OK.
“New Year’s Eve Live!” (KASA-2 11 p.m.) Nancy O’Dell hosts. Brandy is a “special correspondent.” So, clearly, this one’s very news-oriented.
“MTV’s New Year’s Bash 2011” (MTV 11:30 p.m.) Apparently, Snooki will be dropped on Times Square. Apparently, this is not a joke.
“122nd Annual Tournament of Roses Parade” (KOB-4 9 a.m.) So many years, so many dead flowers.
“Oprah’s Guide to OWN” (OWN 10 a.m.) The Oprah Winfrey Network is open for business.
“Dan Vs.” (HUB 7 p.m.) HUB’s newest cartoon begins with its jerky, anger-prone star taking out his lifelong grudge on ... New Mexico? Yeah, seriously. The entire Land of Enchantment.
“Primeval” (BBC America 7 p.m.) After an 18-month hiatus (on a cliffhanger, no less!), we finally get a fourth season of BBC’s dinosaur-hunting sci-fi series.
“Rise of the Jellyfish” (Discovery 7 p.m.) Why does every nature documentary now sound like a bad Syfy Channel movie?
The Craigslist Killer (Lifetime 7 p.m.) Honestly, getting a Lifetime movie starring Billy Baldwin is the worst punishment this guy can receive.
“Caprica” (Syfy 4 p.m.) Like this “Battlestar Galactica” spinoff? Well, you’d better tune in today, because Syfy is burning off the last five episodes in one no-frills, “everything must go” marathon.
“Live to Dance” (KRQE-13 7 p.m.) Paula Abdul is back with a brand-new, totally original reality competition in which she ... judges America’s next great dancer. Whoopee!
“V” (KOAT-7 8 p.m.) “V” returns with original lizard babe Jane Badler in tow!
“Permanent Mark” (Spike TV 9 p.m.) Dude travels around the world getting tattoos. Dude has a pretty cush job.
“The 36th Annual People’s Choice Awards” (KRQE-13 8 p.m.) Lemme guess: Justin Bieber, “Two and a Half Men” and anything having to do with Twilight.
“Extreme Weight Loss: Celebrities Tell All” (KOAT-7 9:01 p.m.) Can anyone in America explain to me why people dieting is such fascinating television all of a sudden?