Week in Sloth
The Week in Sloth
Drive-In Double Features (TCM 6 p.m.) Every Thursday in June features a pileup of awesome drive-in movies on TCM. Tonight, we get a full-on giant insect invasion with Them!, The Cosmic Monster, Tarantula, The Black Scorpion, The Giant Claw and The Wasp Woman. (Actually, The Giant Claw is a bird. Not sure how he slipped in there.)
My Babysitter’s a Vampire (Disney 8 p.m.) A young boy is shocked to learn that his babysitter is a bloodsucking monster. Apparently, this is the pilot movie to a new series ... in which a young boy is shocked to learn that his babysitter is a bloodsucking monster every week.
“Guy’s Choice Awards 2011” (Spike 7 p.m.) Fast Times at Ridgemont High gets inducted in the Guy Movie Hall of Fame.
iParty With Victorious (Nickelodeon 6 p.m.) “iCarly” star / underage pop star Miranda Cosgrove teams up with “Victorious” star / underage pop star Victoria Justice for their first-ever crossover movie. It’s a dream come true for tweens and pedophiles alike.
Field of Vision (KOB-4 7 p.m.) Procter & Gamble and Walmart produced this “uplifting TV family movie, which explores the subject of bullying in schools and standing up for what’s right.” Just the kind of thing kids want to watch over summer vacation.
“65th Annual Tony Awards” (KRQE-13 7 p.m.) NPH is in the house.
“Finding Sarah: From Royalty to the Real World” (OWN 7 p.m.) Sarah Ferguson, the Duchess of York, was recently caught “selling access” to her former husband Prince Andrew—so she’s officially trashy enough to get her own reality show.
“Swamp Wars” (Animal Planet 7 p.m.) “Swamp” has beat out “Alaska” as the adjective du jour for basic cable reality shows.
“The Protector” (Lifetime 8 p.m.) Lifetime belatedly gets into the tough chick detective genre.
“The Glee Project” (Oxygen 9 p.m.) Plucky young singers and dancers do the reality show competition thing for a role on FOX’s “Glee”—which totally hasn’t run out of good ideas.
Nora Roberts’ Carnal Innocence (Lifetime 6 p.m.) Once again, novelist Nora Roberts makes the leap from supermarket checkout aisle to made-for-TV movie.
“G4’s Proving Ground” (G4 9 p.m.) G4 tests out weapons and gadgets from video games and movies by building them and trying them out on “Jackass”-like guinea pigs.
“The Nine Lives of Chloe King” (ABC Family 7 p.m.) A teenage girl finds out she can transform into a cat. How long before she starts dating MTV’s “Teen Wolf”?
“Jon Benjamin Has a Van” (Comedy Central 11:30 p.m.) Edgy cartoon voice actor Jon Benjamin (“Archer,” “Bob’s Burgers,” “Home Movies”) is a funny guy. But you can add this new vehicle (pun intended) to the pile of spoofy fake news shows already on television.
“101 Gadgets That Changed the World” (History 7 p.m.) We’ve got our fingers crossed for ya, Snuggie.
“Happily Divorced” (TV Land 8:30 p.m.) In the wackiest TV sitcom premise the ’70s were to afraid to air, Fran Drescher’s husband of 18 years (John Michael Higgins) comes out of the closet, but neither of them can afford to move out. Hijinks ensue!