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 Sep 1 - 7, 2011 
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Week in Sloth

The Week in Sloth

By Devin D. O’Leary

Thursday 1

“Nick News With Linda Ellerbee” (Nickelodeon 7 p.m.) It’s been 10 years since the events of Sept. 11, 2001, meaning most Nickelodeon viewers weren't even alive when it happened. So “Nick News” takes the opportunity to explain what happened. ... Minus all the “Truther” theories. Damn liberal media. Elementary schoolers need to be warned about the New World Order!

“Rising: Rebuilding Ground Zero” (Discovery 6 p.m.) Executive producer Steven Spielberg debuts this six-part documentary about the planning and construction of the new World Trade Center and the National September 11 Memorial.

Last Cup: Road to the World Series of Beer Pong (Spike 9 p.m.) Apparently, there is a World Series of Beer Pong. And apparently, there is a documentary about it.

Friday 2

“LFL Presents: Friday Night Football” (MTV2 8 p.m.) Yup, MTV2 is broadcasting Lingerie Football League games. Tonight it’s ... right, who cares what the teams are?

Saturday 3

Game Time: Tackling the Past (KOB-4 7 p.m.) Wal-Mart presents this wholesome movie about a pro footballer (Ryan McPartlin, Captain Awesome from “Chuck”) who's about to break the all-time receiving record—until he’s recalled to his hometown by the news that dad (Beau Bridges) has suffered a serious heart attack. Spoiler alert: “Family comes first” is the moral.

“I Faked My Own Death” (Discovery 8 p.m.) Not very well, apparently, if you're on TV bragging about it.

“George W. Bush: The 9/11 interview” (National Geographic 8 p.m.) Apparently, those right-wing bumper stickers attached to the back of Dodge pickups are correct—“We will never forget.” Not with TV specials every night for a week leading up to the 10th anniversary, anyway.

Sunday 4

“MDA Labor Day Telethon” (KRQE-13 6 p.m.) For the first time since 1966, Jerry Lewis has the weekend off.

“Dinosaur Revolution” (Discovery 7 p.m.) Yeah, the Arab Spring movement would have been way cooler if it had involved dinosaurs.

“9/11: Heroes of the 88th Floor” (TLC 7 p.m.) If I had been on the 87th floor, I’d be a little offended right now.

Monday 5

“When Pop Culture Saved America: A 9/11 Story” (BIO 6 p.m.) This two-hour documentary reflects on how “comedians, singers, actors, entertainers all did their part” to help America get back to “the new normal.” ... Are they talking about that “boot up your ass” song by Toby Keith? Cause that really healed my heart.

“Children of 9/11” (KOB-4 9 p.m.) Well, America was having a lot of “anxiety sex” in the wake of 9/11.

“Flying Anvils” (Science 8 p.m.) Engineers, amateur inventors and crazy people use gunpowder to launch 100-pound anvils into the air in America's newest extreme science competition. Tory Belleci from “MythBusters” hosts ... and runs for cover a lot, I assume.

Tuesday 6

“I Survived ...” (BIO 6 p.m.) Twelve survivors tell how they came out alive from—what else?—the terrorist attacks of Sept. 11, 2001.

“Carson Nation” (OWN 7 p.m.) Carson Kreesley shows up in Roswell, N.M., and teaches the local population how to dress.

Wednesday 7

“Saved” (Animal Planet 7 p.m.) This new series profiles people who have survived epic disasters and how the human/pet bond helped them overcome the trauma. The premiere episode focuses on—what else?—9/11.

“Pawn 90210” (E! 11 p.m.) Hollywood fatwah! That’s a flagrant violation of the “We’ve already got 10 identical shows on TV” law.

“Rescue Me” (FX 11 p.m.) Dennis Leary’s 9/11-inspired firefighter drama signs off with an 80-minute series finale.

 
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