alibi online
Free Will AstrologyAlibi's Personals
 
 V.20 No.52 | December 29 - January 4, 2012 

Reel World

The Worst Films of 2011

Atlas Shrugged: Part I

Tea party Republicans worship corporate apologist Ayn Rand—not that they’ve actually read any of her books. Now they don’t have to, thanks to this ridiculously cheapo adaptation of Rand’s talky sci-fi novel about choo-choo trains. Unfortunately, it’s hard to sympathize with characters who are constantly reminding you that sympathy is a sign of weakness.

Bucky Larson: Born to Be a Star

This film opened to a perfect 0 percent positive rating on Rotten Tomatoes (landing it in the same category as Fred: The Movie). It lured an average of eight people per screening on its opening weekend. It also settled a long-standing debate. Nick Swardson: funny or not? Not, apparently.

Green Lantern

Sure, there have been worse big-budget Hollywood films (any of the Transformers films, really), but this is a veritable template on how not to make a $200 million summer blockbuster. I’d take Batman & Robin over this colorless, logic-deficient origin story, which proves only one thing—it’s impossible to make Ryan Reynolds likable.

Jack and Jill

Adam Sandler gave up trying this year, surrendering to this sub-Martin-Lawrence vehicle in which he dresses up in drag to play identical (and identically annoying) twins. Seriously, what did we do as a nation to deserve this?

Larry Crowne

Tossing Tom Hanks and Julia Roberts into this sappy, wafer-thin slice of recession-era, middle aged uplift is the cinematic equivalent of a new Taco Bell special—you know, one of those inedible concoctions that sticks the same three ingredients together and slaps a made-up name on it. Larry Crowne: the enchirito of movies.

New Year’s Eve

Valentine’s Day was bad enough, but this soulless sequel plays out like the screenwriters penned the poster tag lines and then went home. The only bright spark is the knowledge that director Gary Marshall and friends will run out of holidays soon. Nobody wants to see Martin Luther King Day.

Red Riding Hood

As silly as the Twilight films have been, once-credible director Catherine Hardwicke’s blatant attempt to create another sexy supernatural saga (with werewolves!) is even more preposterous.

Spy Kids: All the Time in the World in 4D

Robert Rodriguez is hereby banned from making any more kids’ movies.

The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn—Part 1

What can I say? Haters gotta hate.

The Undefeated

Amazingly, Sarah Palin still has fans among the tea party sympathizers, who donate millions every time she insinuates that she might maybe still kinda be running for president. But even her staunchest supporters didn’t show up for this bald-faced hagiography.

Play Youtube Video
 
Join our mailing list for exclusive info, the week's events and free stuff!
 

  • Select sidebar boxes to add below. You can also click and drag to rearrange the boxes; close using the little X icons on each box. To re-add a box you closed, return to this menu.
  • Because you are not logged in, any changes you make to these boxes will vanish as soon as you click to another page. If you log in, the boxes will stick.
  • alibi.com
  • Latest Posts
  • Web Exclusives
  • Recent Rocksquawk Discussions
  • Recent Classifieds
  • Latest User Posts
  • Most Active Users
  • Most Active Stories
  • Calendar Comments
  • Upcoming Alibi Picks
  • Albuquerque
  • Duke City Fix
  • Albuquerque Beer Scene
  • What's Wrong With This Picture?
  • Reddit Albuquerque
  • ABQ Journal Metro
  • ABQrising
  • ABQ Journal Latest News
  • Del.icio.us Albuquerque
  • NM and the West
  • New Mexico FBIHOP
  • Democracy for New Mexico
  • Only in New Mexico
  • Mario Burgos
  • Democracy for New Mexico
  • High Country News
  • El Grito
  • NM Politics with Joe Monahan
  • Stephen W. Terrell's Web Log
  • The Net Is Vast and Infinite
  • Slashdot
  • Freedom to Tinker
  • Is there a feed that should be on this list? Tell us about it.
    ICEAGE / HELM
    ICEAGE / HELM11.5.2014