Week in Sloth
“Monsuno” (Nicktoons 6 p.m.) Remember, after Pokémon came out, that tidal wave of awful Japanese-animated TV shows about kids fighting with monsters that pop out of magical trading cards? Executives at the floundering JAKKS Pacific toy company sure do. Watch their new show, buy their new toys, collect their new trading cards!
“Lifeguard!” (Weather 7 p.m.) The folks over at the Weather Channel, once again thinking that they work for a real TV station, try their hand at another actual TV show. This one’s a docu-reality series about lifeguards. That’s faintly weather-related, isn’t it?
“Actors Unscripted” (E! 9 p.m.) Actors speak candidly about their careers and share their thoughts on Hollywood, including what it was like for them to break into the entertainment industry. ... Thank God there’s finally a place on TV where actors can go to talk about themselves.
“Being Human” (BBC America 7 p.m.) The Beeb’s ghost, vampire and werewolf roomie horror-drama returns for a fourth season. Since good guy bloodsucker Mitchell (Aidan Turner) got killed (or ... made not undead) at the end of last season, the cast is likely to look a bit different now.
Gretl: Witch Hunter (Syfy 7 p.m.) Syfy is jumping the gun a bit with this knockoff. Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters starring Jeremy Renner and Gemma Arterton isn’t even scheduled to hit theaters until January 2013. On the plus side, Shannen Doherty stars as Gretl in the cheap-o TV version. ... I guess that’s a plus.
“Ali 70 From Las Vegas” (ESPN2 8 p.m.) Stevie Wonder, David Beckham, Larry King, Quincy Jones and other celebrities gather in Las Vegas to celebrate Muhammad Ali’s 70th birthday.
“The 2012 Film Independent Spirit Awards” (IFC 8 p.m.) Funnyman Seth Rogen takes on the hosting duties.
“Live from the Red Carpet: The 2012 Academy Awards” (E! 3:30 p.m.) The folks at E! get started nice and early interviewing Oscar arrivers and ogling their designer outfits.
“The 84th Annual Academy Awards” (KOAT-7 6:30 p.m.) Funnyman Billy Crystal takes on the hosting duties.
“Academy Awards Red Carpet Fashion Wrap” (TV Guide 6 p.m.) Who wore what and how bad did they look?
“Lab Rats” (Disney XD 6:30 p.m.) A kid finds a trio of superpowered teens living in his basement. ... Wait. It’s not those three superpowered teens from Chronicle is it? Cause they’re kinda jerks.
“Fashion Police: The 2012 Academy Awards” (E! 11 p.m.) Who wore what and how bad did they look, Round 2.
“Obsessive Compulsive Hoarder” (TLC 8 p.m.) TLC already has a weekly TV show called “Hoarding: Buried Alive.” How insane does your house have to be for you to rate a one-hour special all to yourself?
“Top 10 Shootouts” (Discovery 8 p.m.) Will Hayden from “Sons of Guns” and Rich Wyatt from “American Guns” count down America’s 10 best gun battles. Wait. So does a shootout have to be extremely good or extremely bad to make the top 10?
La lengua de las mariposas/