“Lifeguard!” (Weather 7 p.m.) The folks over at the Weather Channel, once again thinking that they work for a real TV station, try their hand at another actual TV show. This one’s a docu-reality series about lifeguards. That’s faintly weather-related, isn’t it?
“Actors Unscripted” (E! 9 p.m.) Actors speak candidly about their careers and share their thoughts on Hollywood, including what it was like for them to break into the entertainment industry. ... Thank God there’s finally a place on TV where actors can go to talk about themselves.
“Being Human” (BBC America 7 p.m.) The Beeb’s ghost, vampire and werewolf roomie horror-drama returns for a fourth season. Since good guy bloodsucker Mitchell (Aidan Turner) got killed (or ... made not undead) at the end of last season, the cast is likely to look a bit different now.
Gretl: Witch Hunter (Syfy 7 p.m.) Syfy is jumping the gun a bit with this knockoff. Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters starring Jeremy Renner and Gemma Arterton isn’t even scheduled to hit theaters until January 2013. On the plus side, Shannen Doherty stars as Gretl in the cheap-o TV version. ... I guess that’s a plus.
“Ali 70 From Las Vegas” (ESPN2 8 p.m.) Stevie Wonder, David Beckham, Larry King, Quincy Jones and other celebrities gather in Las Vegas to celebrate Muhammad Ali’s 70th birthday.
“The 2012 Film Independent Spirit Awards” (IFC 8 p.m.) Funnyman Seth Rogen takes on the hosting duties.
“Live from the Red Carpet: The 2012 Academy Awards” (E! 3:30 p.m.) The folks at E! get started nice and early interviewing Oscar arrivers and ogling their designer outfits.
“The 84th Annual Academy Awards” (KOAT-7 6:30 p.m.) Funnyman Billy Crystal takes on the hosting duties.
“Academy Awards Red Carpet Fashion Wrap” (TV Guide 6 p.m.) Who wore what and how bad did they look?
“Lab Rats” (Disney XD 6:30 p.m.) A kid finds a trio of superpowered teens living in his basement. ... Wait. It’s not those three superpowered teens from Chronicle is it? Cause they’re kinda jerks.
“Fashion Police: The 2012 Academy Awards” (E! 11 p.m.) Who wore what and how bad did they look, Round 2.
“Obsessive Compulsive Hoarder” (TLC 8 p.m.) TLC already has a weekly TV show called “Hoarding: Buried Alive.” How insane does your house have to be for you to rate a one-hour special all to yourself?
“Top 10 Shootouts” (Discovery 8 p.m.) Will Hayden from “Sons of Guns” and Rich Wyatt from “American Guns” count down America’s 10 best gun battles. Wait. So does a shootout have to be extremely good or extremely bad to make the top 10?