“Omens of the Apocalypse” (National Geographic 8 p.m.) Of course all this hoo-ha about the coming apocalypse is pure crap. ... Still, forewarned is forearmed.
Ben 10: Destroy All Aliens (Cartoon Network 8 p.m.) Well, not all aliens. Otherwise, Ben would have no one to destroy in future cartoon movies.
“Fringe” (KASA-2 8 p.m.) FOX’s trippy sci-fi series kicks off its fourth season (spring version) with a decidedly romantic episode.
“Too Cute!” (Animal Planet 7 p.m.) No false advertising here. Tonight’s episode is “Super Fluffy Puppies.” Call me a cynic, but I’m holding out for “Baby Sloths in Pajamas.”
“Ball Boys” (KOAT-7 1 p.m.) ABC shows up extremely late to the whole “buying and selling people’s old crap” genre with this reality show about sports memorabilia peddlers. At least network execs have enough shame to hide it at 1 p.m. on a Saturday.
Whiskey Business (CMT 5 p.m.) Pauly Shore and John Schneider star in ... wow, I’m too nauseous to continue with that sentence.
“MythBusters” (Discovery 7 p.m.) Adam and Jamie start off their new season by being dropped on a desert island and seeing if they can find food, water and shelter, then escape using nothing but that most magical of modern inventions, duct tape.
“Luck” (HBO 7 p.m.) After nine tight episodes, HBO’s racetrack drama comes to a satisfying conclusion. Unfortunately, despite good ratings and critical praise, the show won’t be back next season. HBO pulled the plug following the death of three race horses employed on the show.
“Mad Men” (AMC 7 p.m.) Has it really been a year? AMC’s hallmark drama finally returns with a two-hour season premiere. Break out the Martinis and get to watching!
“Leave It To Niecy” (TLC 8 p.m.) Apparently no longer content being a comedian, Niecy Nash (“Reno 911!”) continues the reality show roll she started “Dancing With the Stars.”
“Loiter Squad” (Cartoon Network 12:30 a.m.) L.A. “hip-hop collective” Odd Future Wolf Gang Kill Them All contributes this new sketch comedy show described as a mix between “Chappelle’s Show” and “Jackass.” So ... satirical racial commentary and nut shots?
“Brooklyn 11223” (Oxygen 12 a.m.) Ever wondered what would happen if “Jersey Shore” took place in Brooklyn? No? Well, here you go anyway.
“Dancing With The Stars: The Story So Far” (KOAT-7 7 p.m.) They’re stars. And they’re dancing. ... I just saved you an hour of TV watching there.
“Best Ink” (Oxygen 11 p.m.) Attention, reality show producers: There are careers on the planet other than tattoo artist, pawn shop owner, tow truck driver and cake baker. Toll booth operator, strip club bouncer, trapeze artist and Keanu Reeves—there’s four new ones, free from me to you.
“Whitechapel” (BBC America 8 p.m.) Having solved the Jack the Ripper copycat killings in the first season, our police detectives move on to solving some Kray brothers copycat killings in the second season. (Nope, if you’re not British, you probably don’t know who the Kray brothers were.)