Week in Sloth
The Week in Sloth
“The Perez Hilton All Access: Katy Perry” (KWBQ-19 7 p.m.) For a guy who founded a blog based on stealing paparazzi photos and drawing wieners on them, this Perez Hilton dude has done pretty well for himself. Tonight, he gets an hour-long special to interview Katy Perry.
“TRON: Uprising” (Disney 7:30 p.m.) Disney’s stylish new ’toon takes place between the original TRON and TRON: Legacy. Elija Wood, Lance Henriksen, Mandy Moore, Emmanuelle Chriqui, Paul Reubens and Bruce Boxleitner provide the voices. Holy cow, this sounds awesome!
American Warships (Syfy 7 p.m.) Credit where credit is due, Syfy. You’ve done an excellent job of providing timely, cheapjack rip-offs of Hollywood blockbusters lately (even though you got sued by Universal on this one and had to change the name from American Battleship).
“The 2012 Billboard Music Awards” (KOAT-7 7 p.m.) Carrie Underwood, Justin Bieber and LMFAO perform. Stevie Wonder gets an award, wonders who Justin Bieber is.
“The Simpsons” (KASA-2 7 p.m.) FOX’s venerable animated sitcom wraps up its 23rd season with a guest appearance by Lady Gaga (who is dangerously close to a cartoon as it is).
“American Ninja Warrior” (G4 7 p.m.) I don’t know about anybody else, but this two-hour, fourth season premiere has got me hankering for some Michael Dudikoff movies. ... Speaking of which, why isn’t he hosting this show? Not like he’s busy doing anything else.
“Aziz Ansari: Dangerously Delicious” (Comedy Central 11 p.m.) The “Parks and Recreation” funnyman gets his own stand-up special.
“House” (KASA-2 7 p.m.) FOX’s medical-mystery-solving drama dies off with a two-hour series finale.
“Clash of the Commercials: USA vs. The World” (KRQE-13 9 p.m.) Finally, viewers get to choose once and for all who has better television commercials: America or the rest of the stinking world. Heidi Klum and Kevin Frazier host. Cirque du Soleil’s “KÀ” performs ... or was that a weird dream I had?
“Glee” (KASA-2 8 p.m.) It’s graduation time at McKinley High. As with all shows containing high-school-age characters, many will be flunking, dropping out of college, choosing a community college in their hometown or suddenly becoming teachers, so they can stay in the cast for another year or so.
“Hip Hop Squares” (MTV2 9 p.m.) Yes, it’s “Hollywood Squares,” but with the likes of Biz Markie, Common, Ghostface Killah, Tech N9ne and Bam Margera answering goofy questions. Bam Margera, by the way, is this generation’s Paul Lynde.
“American Idol” (KASA-2 7 p.m.) Our overlords at “American Idol” waste two hours telling us who wins this season and is therefore now worthy of our idolatry.
“Dev” (MTV 12 a.m.) “Dev” (aka Devin Tailes) is apparently some 22-year-old singer whose first single, “Booty Bounce,” got sampled on the hit song “Like a G6” by Far East Movement. Instead of getting famous, she got pregnant. Now she has a reality show. Good for her.