Week in Sloth
“BUCKWILD” (MTV 11 p.m.) Now that “Jersey Shore” is off the air, the era of Guidosploitation is officially over. Hicksploitation, on the other hand, is in full swing. Hence, MTV greenlighted this reality show about a bunch of twentysomethings in West Virginia who do more or less exactly what the “Jersey Shore” bunch did: get drunk, fight and try to sleep with one another.
“What Not to Wear” (TLC 8 p.m.) Tonight’s season premiere features former teen singing sensation Tiffany. Either she’s still wearing those acid-washed jean jackets from the ‘80s or she’s in desperate need of some career attention.
Over/Under (USA 8 p.m.) USA burns off the pilot episode of this failed series, about a Manhattan day trader who becomes a Brooklyn bookie, as a TV movie.
The Foreigner (TCM 12 a.m.) Pioneering punk rock filmmaker Amos Poe contributes this 1978 spy film parody chockablock with New York icons like Deborah Harry, Eric Mitchell, Anya Phillips and Patti Astor.
“Cesar Milan’s Leader of the Pack” (Nat Geo Wild 8 p.m.) The Dog Whisperer travels to Europe to tackle the “global issue of canine abandonment” by giving unadoptable dogs a second chance in his Dog Psychology Center.
An Amish Murder (Lifetime 7 p.m.) If the Amish were allowed to watch TV, they’d be shocked at how popular they are, currently, on basic cable. Why here they are in a TV movie starring Neve Campbell and C. Thomas Howell.
“Downton Abbey” (KNME-5 9 p.m.) Season three, baby! So far, we’ve survived the sinking of the Titanic and World War I. I have a feeling things are looking up for England.
“Here Comes Honey Boo Boo: A Very Boo Halloween” (TLC 7 p.m.) Given that we just celebrated New Years, it seems like the perfect time for a Honey Boo Boo Child Halloween special.
“Making Mr. Right” (VH1 7 p.m.) Single women pretend to be matchmakers in order to manipulate men they actually want to date in VH1’s new reality dating show. And it’s still married homosexuals who are violating the sanctity of heterosexual unions?
“Black Ink Crew” (VH1 7 p.m.) Yup. Docu-reality show about a tattoo parlor in Harlem.
“Deception” (KOB-4 9 p.m.) In this “Revenge”-esque drama, a female detective goes super undercover among San Francisco’s socialite set in order to solve the murder of her best friend.
“Africa” (Discovery 8 p.m.) Discovery examines the world one continent at a time, starting with Africa.
“Stars in Danger” (KASA-2 7 p.m.) Because “Diving With the Stars” sounded too dumb. Yes, reality show “stars” like JWoww and Kim Richards plus a couple of old actors from “Baywatch” and a retired NFL player or two will be competing in a series of Olympic-style dives including solo, synchronized and high.
“The 39th Annual People’s Choice Awards” (KRQE-13 8 p.m.) Expect to hear the name “Justin Bieber” a lot.