Week in Sloth
“Deadliest Space Weather” (Weather Channel 7 p.m.) That’s nice, Weather Channel, but I just wanna know if it’s gonna rain tomorrow.
“The 18th Annual Critics’ Choice Movie Awards” (KWBQ-19 7 p.m.) Snooty critics like me try to tell you what films were worthy of your attention in 2012.
“Double Divas” (Lifetime 8 p.m.) “Sure, we’ll greenlight your docu-reality series about women who sell bras, but only if you can come up with a punny double entendre of a title.”
“A New Age of Exploration: National Geographic at 125” (National Geographic 6 p.m.) You don’t look a day over 100, N.G.
“Banshee” (Cinemax 8 p.m.) A recently paroled con man (Aussie hunk Antony Starr) steals someone else’s identity to become the sheriff of a small town in Pennsylvania’s Amish country. ‘Cause the Amish are hot right now.
“Out There” (IFC 8:30 p.m.) Pamela Adlon (“Louie”), Fred Armisen (“Portlandia”), Linda Cardellini (“Freaks and Geeks”), John DiMaggio (“Futurama”) and Megan Mullally (“Will & Grace”) provide the voices for this animated, coming-of-age comedy.
“Cyndi Lauper: Still So Unusual” (WE 10 p.m.) A reality show starring ’80s oddball Cyndi Lauper? I can’t be the only one thinking this sounds weirdly appropriate. If only Captain Lou Albano were still around.
“The 70th Annual Golden Globe Awards” (KOB-4 6 p.m.) Tina Fey and Amy Poehler host, ensuring plenty of laughs amid the drunken narcissism.
“Mudcats” (National Geographic 8 p.m.) Because you simply cannot have too many reality shows about rednecks who catch catfish with their hands.
“Pete Rose: Hits & Mrs.” (TLC 8 p.m.) Aren’t you totally wondering what life for 71-year-old, disgraced baseballer Pete Rose and his inappropriately young Playboy model of a fiancee is like?
“Container Wars” (truTV 8:30 p.m.) Another docu-reality show about people who buy and sell the contents of abandoned storage lockers and/or shipping containers? Sure, we’ve got plenty of those already, but we should probably be stocking up for winter.
“The Carrie Diaries” (KWBQ-19 7 p.m.) If you want to know what Carrie Bradshaw (Sarah Jessica Parker) from “Sex and the City” was like in high school, check out this sexy teenaged prequel set in the ‘80s. Turns out she looked like AnnaSophia Robb (Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, Soul Surfer). Of course, if your really want to know what she was like, check out the actual teenaged Sarah Jessica Parker in “Square Pegs.” Little different.
“Continuum” (Syfy 6 p.m.) In this Canadian import, a futuristic cop travels back in time to budget-conscious present day to fight terrorists.
“Real Husbands of Hollywood” (BET 8 p.m.) Kevin Hart, Robin Thicke, Nick Cannon, Duane Martin and JB Smoove spoof the reality show genre by starring as themselves in this “semi-scripted” comedy.
“Ghost Mine” (Syfy 8 p.m.) Combine “Ghost Hunters” and “Gold Rush” and what do you get? The least believable supernatural gold-mining show on TV.
“Lego Legends of Chima” (Cartoon Network 5:30 p.m.) A CG-animated series about Lego figures with animal heads stuck on, in case you were wondering.