Week in Sloth
“Moonshiners: Tickle’s Guide to Love” (Discovery 7 p.m.) What better way to spend Valentine’s Day than listening to a redneck reality show star tell you about love?
“Big Rig Bounty Hunters” (History 8 p.m.) This alleged “reality” show follows the exploits of five redneck Rambos who hunt down stolen semi trucks full of valuable cargo. Honestly, this would have been better as a movie starring Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson.
“50 Ways to Leave Your Lover” (ID 7 p.m.) Spoiler alert: It’s on ID, so all of them involve murder.
“Freakshow” (AMC 7:30 p.m.) A reality show about the owners and performers of the Venice Beach Freakshow.
“Immortalized” (AMC 8 p.m.) Because TV needs more reality shows about taxidermists.
“Failosophy” (MTV 11:30 p.m.) If you aren’t getting enough of wacky Internet videos on MTV’s “Ridiculousness,” don’t worry: The show is now followed by another viral video clip show.
“History of the Eagles” (Showtime 6 p.m.) The band, not the birds.
Pastor Brown (Lifetime 6 p.m.) An exotic dancer returns home to fulfill her dying father’s request: Take over as head of the local Baptist church. Yup. Stripper pastor.
“Stories from the Road to Freedom” (History 8 p.m.) Deon Cole narrates this documentary on the history of the black movement in America from Emancipation to the Civil Rights era. Good to see more Black History Month programming. Funny how it all ends up on Saturdays, though, the least-watched day of the week.
“The Simpsons” (KASA-2 7 p.m.) Tonight’s episode includes the network premiere of “The Last Daycare,” the Maggie Simpson short that’s been nominated for an Academy Award.
Killing Lincoln (National Geographic 6 p.m.) Tom Hanks narrates this dramatic recreation of the assassination of Abraham Lincoln.
“Inside Combat Rescue” (National Geographic 8 p.m.) Not as scary as those guys who diffuse bombs in Afghanistan, but still a pretty tense job, all things considered.
“Cult” (KWBQ-19 8 p.m.) A journalist blogger (none of this “newspaper reporter” crap anymore) and a television production assistant investigate whether the cult TV show “Cult” is causing fans to recreate the show’s creepy murders. Hopefully this “show within a show” show is meta enough for you.
“The Jeselnik Offensive” (Comedy Central 11:30 p.m.) Anthony Jeselnik borrows the “Chelsea Lately” template for his new show, inviting fellow comedians on to discuss headlines that his staff saw on Gawker or Reddit or something.
“Pot Cops” (Discovery 7 p.m.) Discovery fires up “Weed Wednesdays,” starting with a reality show about police busting pot growers in Humboldt County.
“Weed Country” (Discovery 8 p.m.) ... And a reality show about the pot growers themselves.