Week in Sloth
“Blinging Up Baby” (E! 11 p.m.) Between this and ABC’s “Bet on Your Baby,” bad parenting is really starting to pay off in America.
“The Show With Vinny” (MTV 11 p.m.) Now that “Jersey Shore” has been washed out to sea, what’s up with cast member Vinny Guadagnino? I know the question’s been eating away at you. Fortunately MTV has come up with a novel solution: a reality show. Starring Vinny.
“Karma’s a B*tch!” (ID 8 p.m.) Now that “The B---- in Apartment 23” is off the air, it’s nice to have some show with half a curse word in it.
“Zach Stone is Gonna Be Famous” (MTV 11:30 p.m.) In this scripted sitcom, Zach Stone (Bo Burnham) is a teenager who decides to skip college and self-fund a reality show about himself. Even though he doesn’t really do anything. Not sure what the joke is here.
“Maron” (IFC 8 p.m.) Comedian/podcaster Marc Maron gets his own cynical, “Louie”-esque sitcom.
Mr. Hockey: The Gordie Howe Story (Hallmark 7 p.m.) You wouldn’t think the retired Canadian hockey legend would have a story sappy enough to qualify as a Lifetime movie. Apparently you’d be wrong.
“Twisted and Listed” (TLC 8 p.m.) Realtor Theresa Michaels tackles “problem” properties—like houses with ghosts. Or alpacas. No, really. Alpacas.
“Argo: The Real Story” (Discovery 8 p.m.) This would have been more interesting four months ago—but better late than never.
“Rihanna 777” (KASA-2 7 p.m.) Last November, Rihanna took a 777 jet full of fans and journalists on a seven-day, seven country tour. Those on board described it as one of the greatest mistakes in pop history with a cabin full of angry, hungry and bored people. Plus a star who locked herself in her cabin and smoked pot all the time. This glamorous music special will probably ignore that entirely.
“Pizza Cuz” (Cooking 7 p.m.) Why would anyone listen to a guy who insists on being called “Pizza Cuz”?
“Felt” (Logo 1:30 a.m.) Actual audio recordings from real couples therapy sessions are aired and “reenacted” by puppets. This sounds ... legally dubious.
“Newlyweds: The First Year” (Bravo 8 p.m.) Oh, goodie. Another reality show about unremarkable people you’ve never heard of doing totally ordinary things. I mean, they’re not even rednecks or Amish or little people. What the hey, Bravo?
“Splash” (KOAT-7 7 p.m.) Who will be crowned the least god-awful celebrity to fall off a diving board into a pool this season?
“Mythbusters: Deadliest Catch Crabtastic Special” (Discovery 7 p.m.) Discovery Channel gets “Deadliest Catch” in its “Mythbusters” with Jamie and Adam busting famous crustacean myths like ... um.
“Model Employee” (VH1 8:30 p.m.) Models compete on the runway for the chance to represent the Mandalay Bay Resort & Casino brand. Obviously, these days, reality shows are a much more efficient way of doing this than leafing through a stack of photos.
Aliens (1986) at KiMo Theatre
The sequel to Ridley Scott's famous sci-fi franchise, starring Sigourney Weaver and Michael Biehn. Part of the Sci-Fi Fridays film series.
Holbrook/Twain at Guild Cinema
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