Week in Sloth
“Mountain Movers” (National Geographic 6 p.m.) Nope, not a docu-reality show about hillbilly furniture movers. Instead this is a look at the Snow Park Technologies company, which specializes in building “cold weather action sports venues” for clients like the the Winter X Games.
“Monumental Mysteries” (Travel 7 p.m.) Having run out of “Mysteries at the Museum” to investigate, host Don Wildman heads to some national monuments.
“Nick Cannon’s Big Surprise” (E! 11 p.m.) What’s Nick Cannon’s big surprise? He’s giving his grandparents a home makeover. So ... not so much a “surprise” as “a nice thing rich people get to do all the time.”
“Australia’s Deadliest” (Nat Geo Wild 7 p.m.) Yeah, pretty much everything in Australia is deadly. Don’t ever move there.
Dangerous Intuition (Lifetime 6 p.m.) Tricia Helfer (the memorable Cylon Number Six in “Battlestar Galactica”) stars as a mother who has premonitions that her ex-husband’s new mate (Canadian model Estella Warren) is a threat to their young daughter.
“Family Tree” (HBO 8:30 p.m.) Christopher Guest—the man behind such improv, ensemble mockumentaries as This is Spinal Tap, Best in Show, A Mighty Wind and Waiting for Guffman—takes his talents to TV. This series stars Chris O’Dowd ( “The IT Crowd,” “Girls”) as a man researching his lineage. Bob Balaban, Ed Begley Jr., Michael McKean, Kevin Pollak and Fred Willard are among the guest stars.
“Ultimate Survival Alaska” (National Geographic 8 p.m.) Think “The Amazing Race,” but colder and with more bears. Eight extreme survivalists compete in a 3,000-mile race across the Alaskan wilderness. There will be no prizes, other than glory. Which is pretty cheap on today’s market.
“Long Island Medium On the Road” (TLC 6 p.m.) Loudmouthed, New Yawk psychic Theresa Caputo heads out on a cross-country tour to try guessing the first letters of dead relatives of people outside her zip code for a change.
“90210” (KWBQ-19 7 p.m.) The original teen soap ended with Donna and David getting married (big whoop). Tiffani Thiessen and Gabrielle Carteris did come back for cameos, but Jason Priestley just sent in a videotape. That sets the bar fairly low for this next-gen, two-hour series finale.
“So You Think You Can Dance” (KASA-2 7 p.m.) I mention tonight’s season premiere because I assume you’re only interested in watching the people who—as the titles says, then implies—think they can dance, but cannot.
An Affair of the Heart: Rick Springfield (Epix 6 p.m.) This documentary explores the often frightening devotion of rabid Rick Springfield fans. How rabid are these people? Some of them have actually watched Rick’s 1984 movie Hard to Hold.
“Star Trek: Secrets of the Universe” (History 8 p.m.) History Channel tries its damnedest to turn a visit to the set of the new movie Star Trek Into Darkness into some kind of science-based special about the history of warp drive or something.
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