Week in Sloth
“Kid Rock: Live From Buffalo Chip” (CMT 9 p.m.) Kid Rock seems like he should be performing live from a place called Buffalo Chip.
“World’s Dumbest...” (truTV 6 p.m.) Tonight’s topic: “World’s Dumbest TV Shows.” A TV show called “World’s Dumbest...” broadcasting a show about the world’s dumbest TV shows? That’s like a painting of an artist painting a picture of an artist painting a picture of an artist.
Ghost Shark (Syfy 7 p.m.) We all admire your commitment to stupidity, Syfy. We really do.
Venus and Serena (Showtime 7 p.m.) Documentary filmmakers follow tennis-playing sisters Venus and Serena Williams on and off the court.
Escape from Polygamy (Lifetime 6 p.m.) Lifetime jumps on the polygamy bandwagon with this melodrama about a young couple fleeing their Mormon-esque compound so they can just have sex with one another. Mary McCormack (“In Plain Sight”) and William Mapother (“Lost”) costar.
Swindle (Nickelodeon 6 p.m.) With help from a classmate, a teen pursues a con man who duped him out of a valuable baseball card. Teenage Nickelodeon acting/singing slaves Jennette McCurdy (“iCarly”) and Noah Crawford (“How to Rock”) star.
“Beat Bobby Flay” (Food Network 7 p.m.) ... Oh, you mean in a cooking competition. My bad.
“Family Dance Off” (KOAT-7 7 p.m.) The original title of this reality show competition—“The Most Embarrassing Time You Will Have With Your Parents Ever”—was a little wordy, but far more accurate.
“The 2013 MTV Video Music Awards” (MTV 10 p.m.) Bruno Mars, Miley Cyrus, Robin Thicke, Katy Perry, Kanye West, Lady Gaga, Justin Timberlake and all the other usual suspects who are up to sing, dance and take home astronaut-shaped party favors.
“Silk” (KNME-5 9 p.m.) “Masterpiece Mystery” serves up some British-style courtroom drama about a passionate defense barrister (Maxine Peake) and her charming but ruthless rival (Rupert Penry-Jones). It’s a lot like American courtroom dramas, only everybody’s more polite and dresses sillier.
“Xiaolin Chronicles” (Disney XD 6:30 p.m.) For some odd reason, Disney XD airs a spin-off of Kids WB’s “Xiaolin Showdown.” In it, a bunch of martial arts-trained kids are required to fight magically powered villains. Relax, kids: Despite what movies and TV tell you all the time, you are not responsible for the fate of the world.
“The Real Housewives of Orange County: The Reunion, Part 3” (Bravo 6 p.m.) When you’re on your third reunion, it no longer counts as a reunion: You’re all still together.
“Drunk History” (Comedy Central 8 p.m.) The season finale heads out to the Wild West to tell sloppy takes about the Alamo and Billy the Kid.
“Fanaddicts!” (Reelz 8 p.m.) The world’s most dedicated (read: “insane”) fans show off their mind-boggling movie memorabilia collections, starting with a guy who has the Guinness World Records listing for the largest Harry Potter collection.