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 V.22 No.49 | December 5 - 11, 2013 

Week in Sloth

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“Panic Button” on truTV

Thursday 5

The Sound of Music Live! (KOB-4 7pm) Carrie Underwood replaces Julie Andrews (good luck with that, hon) in this restaging of the classic Nazi-themed musical.

“Best Bars in America” (Esquire 7pm) Now this is what I call educational television!

“Courtney Loves Dallas” (Bravo 8pm) Courtney Kerr, the “breakout star” of “Most Eligible Dallas,” gets her own reality show. ... And once again the standards of American exceptionalism fall to a new low.

“Panic Button” (truTV 8:30pm) Looks like it’s time for another remake of “Fear Factor.” This slime- and bug-filled game show has contestants facing their “deepest anxieties” while trying to avoid hitting a panic button that will take them out of the running.

Friday 6

“The Grammy Nominations Concert Live!—Countdown to Music’s Biggest Night” (KRQE-13 9pm) Not the Grammies themselves, mind you, but a concert celebrating the announcement of the nominees. LL Cool J hosts. Drake, Macklemore & Ryan Lewis and Robin Thicke perform the same songs they perform at every awards show.

Saturday 7

Santa Switch (Hallmark 6pm) Hallmark 8, Lifetime 4

Christmas in the City (Lifetime 6pm) Hallmark 8, Lifetime 5. Come on Lifetime, you need to start cranking out the sappy, made-for-TV holiday rom-coms if you wanna close this gap!

Sunday 8

Holidaze (ABC Family 6pm) Nice try, ABC Family, but this isn’t your fight.

Bonnie & Clyde (History/A&E/Lifetime 7pm) History’s much-hyped mini-series about America’s favorite Depression-era, bank-robbing lovers-on-the-run debuts on not one but three networks! Emile Hirsch (Into the Wild, Speed Racer) is our boy Clyde. Holliday Grainger (“The Borgias,” Jane Eyre) is our gal Bonnie.

“Dude, You’re Screwed” (Discovery 8pm) How’s that for an attention-grabbing title? Each week one of five “survival experts” is “kidnapped,” blindfolded and dropped into one of the world’s harshest environments. They must each make their way back to civilization unscathed within 100 hours while the other four look on and criticize.

Monday 9

“The One Direction iHeartRadio Album Release Party” (KWBQ-19 8pm) Supposedly their new album is much more “adult” and will win them a lot of surprising new fans. ... I’m not buying it. In more ways than one.

The Great Christmas Light Fight (KOAT-7 9pm) It’s a reality show competition in which four families transform their homes for the holidays in hope of winning $50,000. How’s that for Christmas spirit?

Tuesday 10

“Tequila Sisters” (TV Guide 6:30pm) This is billed as a “docu-soap” (God help us) about four twentysomething sisters living with their “wealthy and traditional Mexican-American family” in Laguna Beach.

“The Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show” (KRQE-13 9pm) You can tell Christmas is in the air when “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer” plays on the radio and when Victoria’s Secret models strut down the runway in diamond-encrusted bras to the sounds of Fall Out Boy.

Wednesday 11

“Kelly Clarkson’s Cautionary Christmas Music Tale” (KOB-4 9pm) The “American Idol” star gets her own holiday special in the “Blake Shelton’s Not So Family Christmas” mode.

 
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