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 V.23 No.5 | January 30 - February 5, 2014 

Week in Sloth

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“Quality Balls: The David Steinberg Story”

Thursday 30

“Saturday Night Live Presents a SNL Sports Spectacular” (KOB-4 8pm) Seth Meyers hosts a collection of fan favorite sports-themed sketches. In case you didn’t know that the Super Bowl and the Olympics are on the horizon.

Friday 31

“Characters Unite: NFL Stars” (USA 5pm) Everybody who is not broadcasting the Super Bowl this weekend is trying their damnedest to come up with some sort of NFL-related programming in a desperate attempt to lure rabid fans.

“Weather Bowl 2014: The Ultimate Game Day Forecast” (Weather 6pm) What did I tell you? ... This is an hour and a half long, by the way.

Saturday 1

“2014 NFL Honors” (KASA-2 7pm) FOX is actually broadcasting the Super Bowl, but it’s still hungry for more NFL-programming—hence, this “star-studded” event handing out trophies for the “Bridgestone Performance Play of the Year,” the “Pepsi NEXT Rookie of the Year,” the “FedEx Air and Ground Players of the Year” and the “GMC Never Say Never Moment of the Year.” ... Oh, and how could I forget the “Papa John’s Overly Merchandised Commercial Tie-in of the Year”?

“And the Oscar Goes To...” (TCM 7pm) TCM produces a new documentary on the history of the Academy Awards. Oscars are next month, guys. It’s all about the sports right now.

The Gabby Douglas Story (Lifetime 6pm) OK, so it’s not as salacious as Flowers in the Attic or Lizzie Borden Took an Ax, but it’s probably inspirational. Plus, it’s Olympic-themed.

Stan Lee’s Mighty 7 (The Hub 6pm) Legendary comic book creator Stan Lee teaches a group of space aliens to use their powers as superheroes on Earth in this animated movie. Sean Astin, Jim Belushi and Mayim Bialik provide voices.

Sunday 2

See “Idiot Box” above.

Monday 3

“Sports Illustrated Swimsuit: 50 Years of Beautiful” (KOB-4 8pm) Host Heidi Klum invites Kate Upton, Marisa Miller, Tyra Banks, Christie Brinkley and Kathy Ireland over for a slumber party. Enrique Iglesias, Lady Antebellum, The Fray, John Legend and Tim McGraw serenade them. Millions of teenage boys across America reminisce about their first boner.

Quality Balls—The David Steinberg Story (Showtime 7:30pm) This biographical documentary looks at the life of Canadian comedian David Steinberg, who joined the legendary Second City troupe, got “The Smothers Brothers Comedy Hour” canceled and spent an awful lot of time yukking it up on “The Tonight Show with Johnny Carson.” Also included is Steinberg’s first stand-up performance in 25 years.

Tuesday 4

“Olympic Preview Special” (KOB-4 7pm) NBC takes time out to remind us that now that the Super Bowl is over, the Winter Olympics are coming.

Wednesday 5

“Making of an Olympian” (KOB-4 7pm) OK, there’s such a thing as overkill, NBC. You’ve got us trapped into 17 days worth of luging and biathlon. We don’t need an extra week of Olympian profiles.

“Backroad Gold” (Travel 9:30pm) Not just another gold-panning reality show, but just another digging through people’s gold crap and reselling it reality show.

 
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