Week in Sloth
By M.J. Wilde, the TV Queen
“XXII Winter Olympics” (CBS 7pm) The first big night of competition in Sochi, Russia includes figure skating team events: men's short program, pairs' short program; snowboarding; men's and women's slopestyle; freestyle skiing; and women's moguls. Now, shake hands—eh-eh-eh, just hands!—and may the best person win shiny medals. Opening ceremonies are Friday night at 7pm, and if enough people show up—you know, those who aren’t boycotting or threatening to blow something up—there will probably be dancing and flags. Enjoy the games.
“American Masters: Alice Walker, Walk in Truth” (KNME-5 9:30pm) In honor of Pulitzer Prize-winning novelist Alice Walker’s—you’ve seen the The Color Purple, right?—70th birthday and Black History Month, “American Masters” premieres filmmaker Pratibha Parmar’s new documentary of Walker’s dramatic life story featuring new interviews with Walker herself, Steven Spielberg, Danny Glover, Quincy Jones, Gloria Steinem, Sapphire and the late Howard Zinn in one of his final interviews. This one’s not to be missed.
“The Graham Norton Show” (BBC America 8pm) Actor Matthew McConaughey is Norton’s big guest tonight. Matt is looking saucy, and he’s also looking like the front-runner in the “Best Actor” Oscar race for his role in Dallas Buyers Club. Actress Julianne Moore and comic Alan Davies also join the hysterics. Sheryl Crow puts the cherry on top as musical guest.
“The Night That Changed America: A Grammy Salute to The Beatles” (CBS 7pm) Of course, Paul McCartney and Ringo Starr will perform. Duh. Oh, you know what’s coming, don’t you? The list of all those bloody good musical people who will sing their guts out and pour their hearts out over The Beatles. And well they should! Included: Stevie Wonder, Keith Urban, John Legend, Adam Levine, Annie Lennox (yes!), Peter Frampton, John Mayer, Katy Perry, Alicia Keys and ... I’m tired. You’ll just have to watch for yourself, you lazy whippets.
“The Following” (FOX 8pm) This creepy thriller is really churning out some good storylines. If you haven’t been watching, it’s time to get on board. Tonight: Ryan and Max (Kevin Bacon, Jessica Stroup) try to stay ahead of the FBI, Emma (Valorie Curry) gets closer to Mark and Luke—twin killers played with slithery abandon by Sam Underwood—and icky Joe Carroll and Mandy (James Purefoy, Tiffany Boone) meet one of Joe’s followers. Shiver.
“The 138th Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show” (USA 9pm) Yup. Live from Madison Square Garden, it’s the sport's most famous and prestigious event. Prancing and posing, the pups are there for the treats and the love. From hounds to retrievers, bulldogs to chihuahuas and poodles to shepherds, you’re bound to find a favorite to root for.
“Fleming: The Man Who Would Be Bond” (BBC America 7pm) In part three of this terrific four-part series about Bond’s incorrigible creator Ian Fleming (played by sexy Dominic Cooper), the Americans ask Fleming to write a blueprint for a Central Intelligence Agency, and Fleming persuades them to form an assault unit that is prepared to play dirty—with himself as commanding officer. That scamp.