Alibi V.23 No.7 • Feb 13-19, 2014 

Week in Sloth

“Star-Crossed” on The CW

Thursday 13

“Chopped Canada” (Food Network 7pm) It’s just like “Chopped” only with more poutine and back bacon. ... Hmm. That started out as an insult, but now it sounds kinda delicious.

“Tattoo Titans” (CMT 12am) Country Music Television adds its own generic, tattoo-based reality competition. For what it’s worth, this one will probably feature more American flags and bald eagles than the others.

Friday 14

“Be My Valentine, Charlie Brown”/“A Charlie Brown Valentine” (KOAT-7 7pm) The 1975 holiday special gets attached to the 2002 holiday special just in time for Valentine’s Day. Weird trivia note: “A Charlie Brown Valentine” was the first to be produced for ABC (as opposed to CBS) and was animated with the assistance of Japanese company Gainax (which worked on the famed “Neon Genesis Evangelion”).

“Jenny McCarthy’s Dirty Sexy Funny” (EPIX 9m) Well, it beats “Jenny McCarthy’s Ill-informed Rant About Vaccinations.”

Saturday 15

“Power Rangers Super Megaforce” (Nickelodeon 10am) Get ready to feel old: This is the color-coordinated, monster-fighting show’s 21st season premiere. Could be worse. Most of the props, costumes and effects footage are stolen from the Japanese Super Sentai series “Tensou Sentai Goseiger.” The Super Sentai series (basis for all the “Power Rangers” shows) has been running for a whopping 34 seasons in Japan.

“Untold Stories of the E.R.: Sex Edition (TLC 7pm) Followed by “Sex Sent Me to the E.R.” I sense a trend here, TLC.

Sunday 16

“The EE British Academy Film Awards 2014” (BBC America 6pm) Stephen Fry hosts for the ninth time. Gravity leads with 11 nominations, but 12 Years a Slave and American Hustle follow closely with 10 each.

“Good Luck Charlie” (Disney 9pm) Disney’s family sitcom—about a teenage girl helping raise her little sister—signs off after four seasons with a series finale.

Monday 17

“Breadwinners” (Nickelodeon 5:30pm) Two hip-hop-loving anthropomorphic ducks run a bread delivery service on a weird alien planet. ... What are the kids smoking these days?

“Star-Crossed” (KWBQ-19 7pm) Remember back in the ’80s when every action movie rip-off was “Die Hard in a (blank)”? Well, now every teen romance rip-off is “Twilight with (blank).” Here’s Twilight with space aliens. Aimee Teegarden (“Friday Night Lights”) is a high schooler who falls in love with a hunky yet mysterious alien teen (Matt Lanter from “90210”). Get it? They’re star-crossed lovers.

“The 4th Annual Cartoon Network Hall of Game Awards” (Cartoon Network 8pm) Cartoons take a back seat tonight to sports figures and the musical stylings of Fall Out Boy.

Tuesday 18

“American Experience: The Rise and Fall of Penn Station” (KNME-5 9pm) This architectural documentary traces the building of New York’s original Penn Station, put up in 1910, but knocked down decades later to make way for Madison Square Garden.

Wednesday 19

“Inside the Actors Studio” (Bravo 6pm) Hot off her role in American Hustle (which just earned her a Golden Globe), Amy Adams sits down with James Lipton and talks favorite curse words.