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 Mar 27 - Apr 2, 2014 
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Week in Sloth

Achmed Saves America on CMT

Thursday 27

“Surviving Jack” (KASA-2 8:30pm) Scary Christopher Meloni (“Law & Order: SVU”) stars as a stay-at-home dad raising/yelling at two teenagers.

“Party Down South: The After Party” (CMT 11am) Oh, good. I’ve been wondering what the drunken rednecks from “Party Down South” have been up to since their “reality” show went off the air last week. If I had to hazard a guess, I’d say being drunk and rednecky.

Friday 28

Achmed Saves America (CMT 11pm) Ventriloquist Jeff Dunham’s hi-lariously racist character “Achmed the Dead Terrorist” finally gets the animated movie 11-year-old Georgia boys drunk on their daddy’s Pabst Blue Ribbon have been clamoring for. This sub-sub-sub-“Family Guy” cartoon tells the story of a terrorist who comes to “Americaville” to destroy the infidels but instead “falls in love with all the sweet things in life and turns into an all-American resident.”

Saturday 29

“Kids’ Choice Awards 2014” (Nickelodeon 6pm) Mark Wahlberg, early-’90s icon and star of porn industry opus Boogie Nights, hosts.

Free Radicals: A History of Experimental Film (TCM 12am) Filmmaker Pip Chodorov pays tribute to some of the 20th century’s leading figures of experimental cinema, including Stan Brakhage, Ken Jacobs and Jonas Mekas.

Sunday 30

“Sunday Night Baseball: Los Angeles at San Diego” (ESPN 6pm) The Boys of Summer finally come out to play.

Monday 31

“How I Met Your Mother” (KRQE-13 7pm) CBS’s long-running sitcom airs its series finale. Lemme get this straight, though: The premise of this show is that two kids ask their dad how he met their mother and he proceeds to spend something in the neighborhood of 104 hours over the course of 8 years answering the question? Just don’t ask him where he bought that shirt.

“Friends with Better Lives” (KRQE-13 8pm) James Van Der Beek, unemployed since “Don’t Trust the B---- in Apartment 23” went off the air, shows up alongside Sports Illustrated swimsuit model Brooklyn Decker in this sitcom about six friends at different stages of their lives.

“House of Food” (MTV 11pm) MTV finally gets around to ripping off Food Network, Cooking Channel and everybody else at this point with a docu-reality show in which “aspiring chefs with no formal culinary training are put to the ultimate challenge.” What, like having to watch another damn cooking competition?

“This is Hot 97” (VH1 8:30pm) This “unscripted comedy show” (they’re not even bothering to label it a “reality show”) shows all the alleged wackiness that goes on behind the scenes at real-life New York hip-hop station Hot 97.

Tuesday 1

Total Riff Off” (National Geographic 6pm) The “Mystery Science Theater 3000” crew returns to TValbeit in an unusual format. For April Fools, instead of riffing on old sci-fi movies, they’ll be making fun of National Geographic animal videos.

“Raiders of Rock” (CMT 1am) If you guessed “yet another reality show about buying and selling people’s old crap,” you are correct.

Wednesday 2

“Down East Dickering” (History 8pm) If you guessed “yet another reality show about buying and selling people’s old crap,” you are correct.

“Treasure King” (Reelz 8pm) If you guessed “yet another reality show about buying and selling people’s old crap,” you are correct.

 
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