Week in Sloth
“Reign” (KWBQ-19 8pm) The CW’s soapy historical drama about Mary, Queen of Scots, has been renewed for a second season. By the way, teens, if you don’t want any spoilers about what’s to come, stop paying attention in history class.
“Barbara Walters: Her Story” (KOAT-7 8pm) Walters is retiring, but not without several weeks’ worth of guest appearances, farewell tours and tear-jerking specials.
“Plimpton! Starring George Plimpton as Himself” (KNME-5 9:30pm) Famed “participatory journalist” George Plimpton gets the “American Masters” treatment—even though he started something called The Paris Review.
Haunted Houses (TCM 6pm) Turner pays tribute to some fine supernatural cinema with a 5-film pack of ghostly chillers: 1963’s The Haunting (6pm), 1973’s The Legend of Hell House (8pm), 1982’s Poltergeist (9:45pm), 1971’s Death By Invitation (12am) and 1962’s Burn, Witch, Burn. The highlight is Death By Invitation, a “dead witch seeks vengeance on her killers’ descendants” oddity directed by Ken Friedman, who went on to write cut gems White Line Fever (1975), Heart Like a Wheel (1983) and Johnny Handsome (1989).
“Coldplay: Ghost Stories” (KOB-4 6pm) Obviously Chris Martin isn’t letting his divorce from Gwyneth Paltrow slow him down, headlining a network concert with his anthemic rock band.
“2014 Billboard Music Awards” (KOAT-7 7pm) Lorde, Ricky Martin, Miley Cyrus, Imagine Dragons and John Legend perform. How much you wanna bet we’ll only be talking about whatever crazy crap Miley Cyrus pulls come Monday?
Warehouse 13 (Syfy 7pm) Syfy’s never-quite-great-but-always-kinda-entertaining melange of “Friday the 13th: The Series” and the last scene in Raiders of the Lost Ark shuts down operations after five seasons.
“The Maya Rudolph Show” (KOB-4 9pm) Former “SNL”er Maya Rudolph is all kinds of awesome, but this vain attempt to revive the old “variety show” format just reeks of “summer replacement series.”
“Man-Eating Zombie Cats” (Animal Planet 6pm) What? Now I gotta worry about these sonsabitches? Great. Apparently it’s “Monster Week” over on AnPlan.
“Judge Judy Primetime” (KRQE-13 7pm) Wow, nothing says “We have no idea what to air over the summer!” quite like “Judge Judy Primetime.”
“ACM Presents: An All-Star Salute to the Troops” (KRQE-13 8pm) If you ever join the armed forces, you’d better like wrestlers, country music stars and redneck comedians, because they’re constantly showing up on base and saluting the troops.
“Man-Eating Super Wolves” (Animal Planet 6pm) Hold on! What if we pit the Man-Eating Zombie Lions against the Man-Eating Super Wolves? Problem solved!
“Revolution” (KOB-4 7pm) J.J. Abrams’ post-apocalyptic series reaches its season 2 finale—which just happens to be the series finale. Will somebody finally turn the lights back on or not?