Week in Sloth
“Dominion” (Syfy 7pm) This weekly spinoff of the 2010 film Legion (hmm, vaguely recall) finds humans battling angels in a post-apocalyptic America.
“Kate Plus 8: Sextuplets Turn 10” (TLC 8pm) Aren’t these kids old enough to tell their mom and the TV cameras to screw off already?
“The Pool Master” (Animal Planet 7pm) What’s a docu-reality show about a guy who builds pools doing on Animal Planet? Well, technically he’s an animal.
“Kid President: Declaration of Awesome” (The Hub 5pm) Robby Novak is a 10-year-old kid who got 32 million hits playing a character called “Kid President” on YouTube. Now the viral video sensation is getting his own “docu-variety” show. So ... quit your day job.
“Almost Royal” (BBC America 8pm) In this Borat-inspired reality sitcom, a couple of clueless British aristocrats (comedians Ed Gamble and Amy Hoggart) take their first visit stateside to irritate unsuspecting Americans.
“The Musketeers” (BBC America 7pm) Dumas’ classic adventure yarn gets its umpteenth retelling in this mostly authentic-looking historical drama. Peter Capaldi stars as the evil Cardinal Richelieu (at least until he takes over the lead role in “Doctor Who” later this year).
“Rising Star” (KOAT-7 7pm) Aspiring singers sing. Country hunk (Brad Paisley), blonde chick (Kesha) and hip-hop dude (Ludacris) coach them. Viewing audience votes. I watch something else.
“Frankenfood” (Spike TV 8pm) Amateur chefs vie to create “culinary concoctions that look so bad, they must be good,” like pastrami donut sandwiches and fried PB&J fish sticks. OK then.
“Under the Dome: Inside Chester’s Mill” (KRQE-13 9pm) Can’t remember what happened last summer on the Stephen King-inspired sci-fi/horror series? This hour-long special should get you caught up.
“CeeLo Green’s The Good Life” (TBS 8:30pm) Cameras follow CeeLo for a “tongue-in-cheek look behind the scenes” of his reunion and subsequent world tour with pioneering Southern hip-hop group Goodie Mob.
“Abby’s Studio Rescue” (Lifetime 7pm) “Dance Moms” star Abby Lee Miller does the “rescue a failing business” thing with dance studios—which pretty much consist of an empty room and some mirrors on the walls.
I Am Steve McQueen (Spike TV 7pm) The badass American actor from Bullitt, not the controversy-courting British director of 12 Years a Slave.
“Tyrant” (FX 11pm) In FX’s new drama, a mild-mannered LA pediatrician, the son of a (fictional) Middle Eastern dictator, returns home and gets caught up in some major political upheaval.
“Mystery Girls” (ABC Family 6:30pm) “Beverly Hills, 90210” stars Jennie Garth and Tori Spelling reunite as a couple of washed-up actresses from a silly detective show who get together again to solve real-life crimes. Sounds plausible.
“Taxi Brooklyn” (KOB-4 9pm) In what could be the dumbest idea ever for a cop drama, a New York detective loses her driver’s license and must team up with a cabdriver to solve crimes.