Week in Sloth
“Pop Innovators: Lauren Conrad” (E! 9pm) E! talks about how Lauren Conrad, breakout star of MTV’s “Laguna Beach” and “The Hills,” continues to motivate pop culture with her best-selling novels and clothing lines. ... Yeah, I’ll just be over here rolling my eyes for an hour.
Nas: Time is Illmatic (Showtime 7pm) I believe it was Einstein who first proposed the illmatic time theory.
“Wake Up Call” (TNT 7pm) Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson mentors ordinary people dealing with extraordinary challenges in this inspirational, “closed-ended transformation show”—as the producers are calling it.
Best Christmas Party Ever (Hallmark 6pm) A young party planner (Torrey DeVitto, “Pretty Little Liars”) arranges a special Christmas party at a New York toy store, but is shut down by powerful corporate interests. Somewhere along the way she falls in love with somebody.
The Santa Con (Lifetime 6pm) A con man (Barry Watson from “Hart of Dixie”) earns a court-ordered stint as a department store Santa, where he promises to reunite a kid’s estranged parents. Melissa Joan Hart, Jaleel White and Wendy Williams round out the TV-centric cast.
“Tolkien’s The Lord of the Rings—Elves, Hobbits and Men” (EWTN-24 7pm) Author and scholar Joseph Pearce examines Catholic themes in Tokien’s The Lord of the Rings saga. Wait, is Gollum supposed to be Jesus?
“Barbara Walters Presents: The 10 Most Fascinating People of 2014” (KOAT-7 8pm) Among this year’s crop of fascinators: Oprah Winfrey, Neil Patrick Harris, Chelsea Handler and Scarlett Johansson.
“Mud Lovin’ Rednecks: Holiday Special” (Animal Planet 7pm) Every cable channel has its own hicksploitation reality show these days. Why can’t Animal Planet?
“Ascension” (Syfy 7pm) This three-night miniseries tracks a covert space mission launched in 1963 in hopes of colonizing a distant planet. Some 50 years later that massive, “Mad Men”-style generation ship is still sailing through the galaxy with Tricia Helfer (“Battlestar Galactica”) and Brian Van Holt (“Cougar Town”) in charge.
“Elf: Buddy’s Musical Christmas” (KOB-4 7pm) Will Ferrell’s 2003 holiday hit gets a stop-motion-animated sequel. With songs. Jim Parsons (“The Big Bang Theory”) takes over for Ferrell.
“Michael Bublé’s Christmas in New York” (KOB-4 7pm) Guests Barbra Streisand, Miss Piggy, Ariana Grande and the Rockettes drop by for a holiday lineup that looks like it was picked at random out of a hat.
“WWE Tribute to the Troops” (USA 6pm) God help you if you’re in the armed forces and you don’t like country music, “blue collar” comedians and the WWE—because those folks are positively beating down the door to entertain you this time of year.