Week in Sloth
“Rose Parade 2015” (HGTV 9am) If you want to spend the day watching college football, there’s plenty out there to choose from. If, on the other hand, you just want to nurse away your hangover by witnessing a slow, soothing parade of flowers smushed into the shape of giant penguins or dragons or whatever, here’s where you should start your New Year’s Day.
“Off the Map with Shannen & Holly” (GAC 9pm) Great American Country tries to get in on some of that sweet, sweet, lazy, lazy Travel Channel money by sending some people some places with a camera.
Damaged (Lifetime 6pm) Chris Klein, returning from a well-deserved breather between American Pie movies, stars as a high school teacher who becomes a little too friendly (if you know what I mean) with a student.
“Galavant” (KOAT-7 7pm) Screenwriter Dan Fogelman (Tangled) and award-winning composer Alan Menken (The Little Mermaid) team up to create this musical sitcom event. John Stamos, Hugh Bonneville, Weird Al Yankovic, Ricky Gervais, Anthony Stewart Head and Rutger Hauer are among the guest stars of this eight-episode fairy tale romance.
“Downton Abbey” (KNME-5 8pm) Season 5 kicks off with an epic, outer space chase. Just kidding. “A working class prime minister is elected; Robert is snubbed by the village.”
“Best. Ever.” (Food 8pm) If you have yet to watch a Food Network show that comes on every week and unilaterally declares the best places in America to get pizza or burgers or barbecue or whatever, here’s another one.
“Marvel’s Agent Carter” (KOAT-7 7pm) “Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.” takes a little midseason break so we can watch this flashback about how superspy Peggy Carter (Hayley Atwell) helped found S.H.I.E.L.D. back in the 1940s.
“Hack My Life” (truTV 8:30pm) Kevin Pereira (largely M.I.A. since the demise of G4) returns in this series (co-created by Tumblr) which tests out various internet “life hacks” (weird domestic survival tips and tricks).
“People’s Choice Awards 2015” (KRQE-13 8pm) Award season kicks off in earnest with the most meaningless of awards shows, handing statues to only the most overexposed celebrities of the year. Who else will heap praise on Brad Pitt, Channing Tatum, Angelina Jolie, Adam Sandler, Cameron Diaz, The Amazing Spider-Man 2, “Dancing With the Stars,” Iggy Azalea, Katy Perry, Taylor Swift, One Direction and Coldplay?
“Empire” (KASA-2 8pm) Terrence Howard and Taraji P. Henson star as the warring owners of a hip-hop record empire in this Shakespearean drama with a beat.
“Hindsight” (VH1 8pm) On the eve of her second wedding, a woman with reservations passes out and finds herself reliving her life back in 1995. Laura Ramsey (She’s the Man, The Ruins) stars in VH1’s latest attempt at a scripted sitcom.
“Donnie Loves Jenny” (A&E 8:30pm) Somebody gave newlyweds Donnie Wahlberg and Jenny McCarthy a reality show? Oh, well. At best it will hasten their inevitable divorce.