Week in Sloth
“Fool’s Gold” (Animal Planet 6pm) Basic cable’s newest obsession is gold-mining reality shows. Here’s one on Animal Planet that has absolutely nothing to do with animals.
“The World Dog Awards” (KWBQ-19 7pm) Dogs who work in the military, health services and entertainment industry (not to mention “dogs who became famous on the internet”) are honored with a glitzy award ceremony. Face it: None of these animals has any idea what the hell’s going on.
“The 20th Annual Critics’ Choice Movie Awards” (A&E 7pm) Former New York Giants defensive end Michael Strahan hosts. He’s about to appear in Magic Mike XXL. So that pretty much qualifies him as a movie expert.
“World’s Funniest Fails” (KASA-2 7pm) If only there were some place people could watch viral videos. Other than the internet. Or the roughly 30 shows on TV that feature them.
“12 Monkeys” (Syfy 7pm) Terry Gilliam’s heady sci-fi film gets turned into a weekly series. Surely the absence of Bruce Willis and Brad Pitt and the markedly smaller budget will improve things.
Whitney (Lifetime 6pm) Lifetime sure loves its trashy biopics. Here, the network attempts to class things up by having actress Angela Bassett direct the life story of singer Whitney Houston. But it’s still a tabloid-inspired look at the relationship between the beloved diva and her drugged-out pop star hubby, Bobby Brown. Which means it’s essential viewing.
“K.C. Undercover” (Disney 6:30pm) A high school math whiz (Zendaya) is recruited to become a teen spy after finding out her parents work for a secret government agency.
“Christina Milian Turned Up” (E! 8pm) Speaking of former Disney actresses/pop stars in need of post-teen reality show makeovers. ... Welcome to your future, Zendaya.
“How Superman Defeated the KKK” (AHC 8pm) Strange but true: Back in the 1940s, human rights activist Stetson Kennedy infiltrated the Ku Klux Klan and used the “Adventures of Superman” radio show to pass along secret information.
“The Nightly Show with Larry Wilmore” (Comedy Central 9:30pm) Larry’s got some big shoes to fill with the departure of Stephen Colbert. But the former “Daily Show” correspondent should add some fresh flavor to the time slot.
“Open Heart” (Teen Nick 7pm) A troubled teen (Karis Cameron) is forced to perform community service at a local hospital—which works out nicely, because that’s where her father mysteriously disappeared.
“American Horror Story” (FX 11pm) This season’s “Freak Show” story line comes to an end—no doubt with some major nastiness. Sorry, Dandy, but it’s probably high time you died horribly.