Alibi V.24 No.18 • April 30-May 6, 2015 

Week in Sloth

Murder, She Baked: A Chocolate Chip Cookie Mystery on Hallmark Movie Channel

Thursday 30

The 2015 NFL Draft” (ESPN 6pm) Hardcore football fans can watch all 3 1/2 hours’ worth of the NFL’s first round draft pick coverage. The hardest of hardcore can tune in tomorrow at 5pm for rounds two and three. This goes on all weekend.

Friday 1

“Beyond the Tank” (KOAT-7 8pm) ABC’s spin-off series from “Shark Tank” follows the “Shark Tank” entrepreneurs as they travel the country to mentor their investees and evaluate their businesses.

“Mysteries at the National Parks” (Travel 8pm) Travel Channel’s “Mysteries at the Museum” heads outside to answer such burning questions as, “Is there a secret, underground, Nazi UFO base in Montana’s Glacier National Park?” ... I’m gonna say no.

“Unearthed” (Discovery 8pm) We’ve had docu-reality shows about people who make livings digging up everything from gold to old coins to ginseng. What’s left? Truffles, of course.

“Psychic Matchmaker” (TLC 8:30pm) It’s this or “Married at First Sight.” Pick your poison, singletons.

Saturday 2

“Summer Movie Preview Review” (Reelz 10:30am) Reelz briefly remembers it was once “TV About Movies” and gives us a rundown of all the hot summer movie trailers.

Murder, She Baked: A Chocolate Chip Cookie Murder Mystery (Hallmark Movie Channel 7pm) I swear I did not make up a single word of that title. It’s a real movie.

Roller Boogie (TCM 12am) This 1979 musical drama features a teenage Linda Blair protecting her beloved local roller rink from mobsters. You laugh now, but that sorta thing happened a lot back then.

Sunday 3

“No Reservations” (Travel 9pm) Tonight’s “best of” episode, titled “Whole Roasted Piggie,” finds Tony Bourdain waxing rhapsodic about all things pork-related.

Monday 4

Kurt Cobain: Montage of Heck (HBO 7pm) Documentary filmmaker Brett Morgen (The Kid Stays in the Picture, Crossfire Hurricane) digs into the life and times of dead singer Kurt Cobain.

“David Letterman: A Life in Television” (KRQE-13 8:30pm) Ray Romano hosts this 90-minute retrospective of late-night talk show host David Letterman’s three decades on TV. May 20th is Letterman’s last night on the air.

Tuesday 5

“The Willis Family” (TLC 8pm) TLC’s latest reality series documents the life of overly fertile Nashville clan the Willis family. The 12 brothers and sisters first appeared in season nine of “America’s Got Talent.” They sing and dance, and their names all start with “J.” It’s like somebody crossed “19 Kids and Counting” and “Keeping Up with the Kardashians.”

Wednesday 6

Gardeners of Eden (Pivot 7pm) Documentary filmmakers profile the efforts of the David Sheldrick Wildlife Trust to protect and preserve Africa’s elephant population.

“Monument Guys” (History 8pm) Since every blue-collar, redneck, hillbilly job in America already has a docu-reality show, History Channel turns to the bearded personalities of The Crucible Bronze Foundry in Norman, Okla. These days cable TV is looking a lot like that field trip you never wanted to take back in middle school.