Week in Sloth
“I Love Kellie Pickler” (CMT 11pm) Personally speaking, I do not. But if you do, you’ll probably want to watch her reality show.
“Master of None” (Netflix streaming anytime) Comedian Aziz Ansari (“Parks & Recreation”) is the man behind and in front of the camera for this (loosely, barely) autobiographical sitcom about a struggling actor whose parents emigrated from India. Each episode concentrates on a single theme and splits its tone between hilarious, serious and occasionally dark. It’s kinda like what you’d get if Woody Allen were a millennial. And East Indian.
Ice Sculpture Christmas (Hallmark 6pm) Yeah, I’m not even going to bother keeping a Hallmark vs. Lifetime holiday rom-com running count this year. Hallmark is already on its second Christmas-based made-for-TV movie, and we’ve barely passed Halloween.
“Hitler: Fueling the Nazi Fire” (AHC 8pm) Well, if he didn’t, who would?
Charming Christmas (Hallmark 6pm) The uptight heir to a department store fortune (Julie Benz, “Dexter”) is forced to play Mrs. Claus and ends up falling for the hunk hired to play Santa (David Sutcliffe, “Gilmore Girls”). ... Seriously, Hallmark, this much Christmas can’t be healthy for a person.
“Flesh and Bone” (Starz 6pm) Starz adds this high-stakes ballet dancer drama. Think Black Swan, but with fewer psychosexual hallucinations.
“Women of Honor with Michelle Obama and Jill Biden” (Lifetime 6pm) Women who have served in the military are invited to the White House to chill with Michelle and Jill.
“Bigfoot Captured” (History 7pm) Or, like every other one of cable TV’s cryptozoological promises, not. Not at all. Bigfoot has not been captured. No matter what the title of this show may say, it’s not true. No Bigfoot in captivity here. Save yourself the disappointment. Just move along.
“Hunting Hitler” (History 8pm) Thanks to Veteran’s Day, TV is in kind of a Hitler mood this week. Here, a team of investigators heads down to South America to locate evidence the notorious dictator survived World War II and hid out in a mysterious Nazi lair in the Argentine jungle. ... I suspect this will turn out about as well as “Bigfoot Captured.”
“Secret Space Escapes” (Science 8pm) Those are three words that sound pretty awesome together. Here, astronauts tell their stories of close calls, terrifying accidents and fights for survival. It’s like Gravity and The Martian, but real!
“Donny!” (USA 8:31pm) Donny Deutsch—American advertising executive, television personality and former host of CNBC’s “The Big Idea With Donny Deutsch”—stars as a “fictionalized” version of himself in this “satirical” reality show. Hey, at least it just comes out and admits it’s scripted.
“Men Women Wild” (Discovery 8:02pm) So, we had reality shows about individual people tossed into the wilderness to survive. We’ve had reality shows about couples tossed into the wilderness to survive. So why not a reality show about three couples tossed into the wilderness to survive.