Alibi V.24 No.46 • Nov 12-18, 2015 

Week in Sloth

“Spotless” on Esquire

Thursday 12

“Project Runway Junior” (Lifetime 7pm) Because “MasterChef Junior.”

“VH1 Big Music in 2015: You Oughta Know” (VH1 7pm) Correct me if I’m wrong, but wasn’t Alanis Morissette’s “You Oughta Know” big in 1995?

“The Hunger Games: The Phenomenon” (Syfy 9pm) Syfy squeezes in a 15-minute “special” celebrating “the journey of one of the most epic media franchises.” Me, I’d call it a 15-minute “commercial.” But I’m cynical that way.

Friday 13

“W/ Bob & Dave” (Netflix Streaming anytime) Bob Odenkirk and David Cross reunite with several castmembers from their old cult series “Mr. Show” for some brand-new sketch-comedy shenanigans.

Saturday 14

I’m Not Ready For Christmas (Hallmark 6pm) I suppose I’m just going to have to keep listing these things until Hallmark runs out of made-for-TV rom-coms this holiday season. This one stars singer/actress Alicia Witt (“Twin Peaks,” “Cybil”) and rips off Liar, Liar in the story department.

The Preacher’s Sin (Lifetime 6pm) See, I’m starting to admire you, Lifetime, for abandoning this year’s Christmas rom-com race and just airing movies about adulterous preachers.

“Campaign 2016: Democratic Debate” (KRQE-13 7pm) Hillary Clinton, Bernie Sanders and ... some other dudes, I’m guessing, hop on the stage and debate it out.

“Spotless” (Esquire 8pm) Esquire tries its hand at some scripted television with this dark, Franco-British import about a cleaner of crime scenes who is pulled into London’s criminal underworld by the actions of his irresponsible older brother.

Sunday 15

Christmas Incorporated (Hallmark 6pm) Yeah, I don’t know if I can keep this up. It’s the middle of November. The count is already at five. And we haven’t even seen Candace Cameron Bure yet!

“The Director’s Chair: Sylvester Stallone” (El Rey 6pm) Well, he did direct several Rocky films. And Staying Alive.

“Into the Badlands” (AMC 8pm) Imagine if a Civil War epic and a historical Chinese martial arts film crashed into each other in the postapocalypse. This wildly conceptual, “genre-bending” action series (from the creators of “Smallville”) follows sword-swinging, samurai-like gladiators battling their way through a feudal American landscape.

Monday 16

“Adventure Time” (Cartoon Network 6pm) Cartoon Network airs an 8-part mini-series this week called “Stakes,” exploring the mysterious backstory of fan-fave character Marceline the Vampire Queen.

“Nostradamus: 21st Century Prophecies Revealed” (History 7pm) Really, they’re just the 20th century prophecies dusted off and fitted with new cultural references. ... Which, if we’re being really honest are also the 19th century prophecies. ... And the 18th century prophecies. ... Actually, the same vague old collection of prophecies people have been freaking out over since about 1560.

Tuesday 17

“Chicago Med” (KOB-4 8pm) It’s about doctors. In Chicago. See how easy it is to pitch a TV show.

Wednesday 18

“People’s Sexiest Man Alive 2015” (Lifetime 7pm) So long as Ryan Gosling is still breathing, this seems like a sham.