Week in Sloth
“Dawn of the Croods” (Netflix streaming anytime) Dreamworks’ caveman cartoon gets a TV spin-off.
A Christmas Story (TBS 6pm) TBS takes the wrapping off its annual “24 Hours of A Christmas Story” promotion.
It’s a Wonderful Life (KOB-4 7pm) Because there’s no way you’re sick of this at this point in the season.
“A Charlie Brown Christmas” (KOAT-7 7pm) According to certain Donald Trump-loving people on Facebook, Obama has issued a presidential order saying that Linus has to recite lines from the Koran this year. Let’s all watch and find out.
“Mr. Magoo’s Christmas Carol” (KWBQ-19 7pm) Making fun of the visually impaired since 1962.
“The Best of Larry Barker: Top Stories of 2015” (KASA-2 9pm) Man, I’d hate to be a scheming contractor or a substandard retirement home operator and see that mustache walking up the driveway.
See “Idiot Box” above.
“Marco Polo: One Hundred Eyes” (Netfilx streaming anytime) Netflix pops out a one-off special, recounting the origin story of blind monk One Hundred Eyes (Tom Wu) from its semi-historical series “Marco Polo.”
“Da Vinci’s Demons” (Starz 6pm) The actions series—which recasts the Renaissance artist and inventor as a hunky, Batman-style superhero—says goodbye with a series finale in which Da Vinci battles the Ottoman army.
Stalked By My Doctor (Lifetime 6pm) OK. Now that the holidays are over with, Lifetime is right back to doing what it does best—making suburban moms paranoid about everything in life. Although, to be fair, if Eric Roberts is your doctor, you probably should be paranoid.
The House Sitter (Lifetime 7pm) Lemme guess. It’s a light romantic comedy about a house sitter who ... No? She’s an “unstable” young woman who “becomes dangerously attached to a family.” OK. Carry on, Lifetime.
“Bible Bowl” (TLC 6pm) I’m fairly confident this Bible-based trivia competition is the very definition of the term “holier than thou.”
“The 38th Annual Kennedy Center Honors” (KRQE-13 8pm) Singer Carole King, filmmaker George Lucas, singer/actress Rita Moreno and actress Cicely Tyson are among this year’s honorees. Stephen Colbert hosts. I’m sure he’ll have some good jokes about conductor Seiji Ozawa.
“Almost Genius” (truTV 8pm) Comedians and performers are “digitally inserted” into viral videos to toss in their snarky comments. ... Are there actually comedians left in America not already employed by another viral video commentary show?
“I Get That a Lot” (KRQE-13 7pm) Kristin Chenoweth, Guy Fieri, Rita Ora, Aaron Rodgers and Cody Simpson join CBS’ “only on a slow holiday night” hidden camera special, pretending to be celebrity look-alikes of themselves. ... Yeah, like anyone wouldn’t recognize teenage Australian pop singer Cody Simpson in a wig and glasses.