Week In Sloth

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Thursday 25

“Desert Flippers” (HGTV 9pm) Look, HGTV, I’ll acknowledge that house flipping is still a thing, because you air, like, 40 shows about it. But I will remain uninterested, no matter what topographic environment the flipping takes place in.

“Behind Bars: Rookie Year” (A&E 8pm) This documentary series about the horrors facing new prison inmates is shot inside not one, not two, but three New Mexico correctional facilities. Talk about New Mexico True!

Friday 26

XOXO (Netflix streaming anytime) Sarah Hyland ( “Modern Family”) stars in this romantic drama about six strangers whose lives collide over the course of one frenetic night at an EDM concert.

“Blue Collar Backers” (Discovery 8:02pm) It’s “Shark Tank,” but with—I don’t know—fewer ties?

Saturday 27

Summer of Dreams (Hallmark 7pm) Debbie Gibson stars as a fading pop star on the verge of losing everything who finds inspiration when she relocates to suburban Ohio and begins teaching music to a talented group of misfit children. … Yeah, so why didn’t you go with that plan, Debbie, instead of starring in this sappy made-for-TV movie?

Sunday 28

“WE Day” (KOAT-7 6pm) This annual, Canadian-based celebration aims to inspire young people to change the world through conversation and social action. Seth Rogen, Charlize Theron, Selena Gomez, Natalie Portman, Orlando Bloom, Jennifer Hudson, Zooey Deschanel, Joe Jonas, Paula Abdul, Von Miller and Kermit the Frog are among the celebrities dropping by to urge millennials to get off their ass and do something other than play Pokémon GO.

“I Miss Downton Abbey!” (KNME-5 7pm) Seriously? You need to put away the doilies and get over it.

“2016 MTV Video Music Awards” (MTV 10pm) Nick Jonas, Britney Spears and Rihanna perform. In other words: It’s the MTV Video Music Awards.

“The Strain” (FX 11pm) FX’s utterly goofball vampire drama returns for a third season of mind-bogglingly dumb stuff. Seriously, you should be watching this. It’s hilarious.

Monday 29

“Secret Eats With Adam Richman” (Travel 8pm) Adam travels to Poland to sample Polish pizza, which is apparently a thing.

Tuesday 30

“Facing” (National Geographic 7pm) NG’s new biography series looks at controversial personalities from the perspective of people who hated them and people who loved them. It starts tonight with Colombian drug kingpin Pablo Escobar.

Wednesday 31

Summer Under the Stars: Dean Martin (TCM 4am) Turner Classic Movies pays an all-day tribute to Rat Pack royalty Dean Martin with an 24-hour marathon of Dino’s best movies. It starts with 1957’s Ten Thousand Bedrooms (4am), continues with 1975’s Mr. Ricco (6am), 1966’s The Silencers (7:45am), 1965’s Marriage on the Rocks (9:30am), 1963’s 4 For Texas (11:30am), 1958’s Some Came Running (1:30pm), 1960’s Who Was That Lady? (4pm), 1960’s Bells Are Ringing (6pm), 1960’s Ocean’s Eleven (8:15pm), 1961’s Ada (10:30pm), 1950’s At War With the Army (12:30am) and 1963’s Toys in the Attic (2:15am).
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