Week in Sloth
“Naked SNCTM” (Showtime 9pm) This “unscripted docuseries” takes viewers inside an exclusive Beverly Hills erotic club in which members are “served fantasies along with their food.”
“Marvel’s The Defenders” (Netflix Streaming anytime) As a lifelong, dedicated FOOM (Friend Of Ol’ Marvel), I’ll be the first to admit that “Marvel’s Iron Fist” was unmitigated crapola. But “Daredevil,” “Jessica Jones” and “Luke Cage” were topnotch. That means that I’m still 75 percent stoked to see this epic, eight-episode team-up. It also means that stupid, halfcocked, New Age idiot Danny Rand has got some catching-up to do.
“Glitter Force Doki Doki” (Netflix streaming anytime) I’ve never heard of this colorful Japanese anime series, so I’m turning to Wikipedia for information. To wit: “The Pretty Cures are legendary warriors of light chosen by the Trump Kingdom to protect the world from the evil desires of the Jikochu. They are partnered by fairies from the Trump Kingdom who can transform into the Cure’s transformation device, the Lovely Commune. The Cures transform by inserting small pendants called Cure Loveads into the Lovely Commune, shouting “Pretty Cure, Love Link!” and spelling out L-O-V-E on the Commune.” ... Uuuh. Yeah, I think I’m gonna pass on this one.
“Marvel’s Spider-Man” (Disney XD 5am) Hot on the heels of the newly rebooted, YA-friendly Spider-Man: Homecoming, Disney XD commits to this new, high-school-set Spider-Man cartoon.
“COPS: Beyond the Bust” (Spike TV 6pm) Terry Crews hosts the 1,000th episode with looks back at classic busts, and some reunions between notable officers and unforgettable perps.
“The Disappearance of Natalee Holloway” (Oxygen 8pm) It’s been 12 years since Natalee Holloway disappeared in Aruba. Now Oxygen and private investigator T.J. Ward think they’ve found a way to bust skeevy suspect Joran van der Sloot.
“The New Age of Terror” (History 7pm) History examines how terrorism has changed modern society in the aftermath of 9/11.
“Great American Eclipse: Countdown to Darkness” (Science 7:02pm) The eclipse doesn’t even start until tomorrow morning. Are you sure you aren’t overselling this thing, Science Channel?
“The Dark Side of the Sun” (Science 8:04pm) ... I mean, even just a little bit?
“How the Sun Works” (Science 9:06pm) Aw, heck, it’s your moment in the spotlight. Go ahead: You do you, Science.
“The Great American Eclipse Live” (Science 10am) Watch the eclipse live on your television. ... In case, you know, you can’t go outside and look up or something.
“Black Girls Rock! 2017” (BET 6pm) India.Arie, Ledisi, Sza and Tyrese are among the performers coming out to honor pioneering black women like politician Maxine Waters, singer Roberta Flack and businesswoman Suzanne Shank (she’s CEO of the Wall Street firm Siebert Cisneros Shank & Co.).
“Vanderpump Rules: Jax & Brittany Take Kentucky” (Bravo 10pm) I’m not comprehending any of the words in that title, and I have no desire to.