Week in Sloth
“Frasier” (KOB-4 7 p.m.) Frasier has left the building for the final time. The hit sitcom signs off after 11 years on the air with a one-hour retrospective and a one-hour series finale.
Sword and Sandal Night (TCM 6 p.m.) If Troy, starring Brad Pitt, Orlando Bloom and Eric Bana, just doesn't have enough men in short skirts for your taste, you can always tune in to TCM tonight for a little old school homoeroticism. Sure, Troy might be more historically accurate, but it's not nearly as fun as Golden Voyage of Sinbad (6 p.m.) and Jason and the Argonauts (8 p.m.), both courtesy of special effects king Ray Harryhausen. Our peplum party concludes at 10 p.m. with 1963's Hercules, Samson and Ulysses, an amusingly all-star line-up of Mediterranean musclemen.
Oxygen (Lifetime 7 p.m.) This little-seen thriller stars Maura Tierney (“ER”) as a masochistic cop hunting down a creepy wack-job (Oscar boy Adrien Brody) who has buried his latest victim somewhere in an airtight coffin. Though the script is your typical race-against-time thriller, the film is surprisingly tense and a real gut-wrencher for you claustrophobics out there.
Helter Skelter (KRQE-13 7 p.m.) Famed prosecutor Vincent Bugliosi's perennial paperback gets the TV movie treatment just in time for sweeps. Jeremy Davies (Spanking the Monkey, Saving Private Ryan) stars as patron saint of crazy people Charles Manson.
“The Prism Awards” (FX 7 p.m.) I'm so excited! It's the 8th annual Prism Awards, which honors the most accurate portrayal of drugs and alcohol in the media. Do you think I, as a member of the media, have a shot for my portrayal of “The Demon Rum” last weekend at Burt's Tiki Lounge?
“The True Story of Troy” (History 7 p.m.) This documentary will give you the real scoop behind the new Brad Pitt movie.
“Troy: The Passion of Helen” (A&E 8 p.m.) Of course, if you're more interested in the ladies, maybe this one will give you the real scoop.
“The WB's Superstar USA” (The WB 8 p.m.) “How about a show in which singers compete for a recording contract? .... What? They've already done that? Well, what about a reality series in which the contestants don't know it's all fake? ... Oh yeah, ’Ordinary Joe.' ... Screw it, let's just rip off both ideas.” ... Yes, we are now graced with a fake version of “American Idol” in which judges Tone-Loc and Vitamin C are looking for the worst singers they can find. Great. An entire show full of William Hungs.
“Gilmore Girls” (The WB 7 p.m.) Sookie and Jackson are getting married. Christopher's getting cozy with Lorelei. Rory's running for vice-president of her senior class. If you recognize any of those names, you'll probably be watching tonight's season finale.
“Angel” (The WB 8 p.m.) WB's “Buffy the Vampire Slayer” spin-off signs off for the last time with a series finale bringing all of the story lines to a close (more or less). If you promise to bug WB executives, they might bring it back for a couple TV movies.