Coming Soon (Well, Not That Soon)—Every summer, we like to cast our crystal ball ahead to the far-flung future. By now, we know the films that we'll be drooling over or avoiding like the plague this summer. But what about next summer? What cinematic delights await us in the summer of 2005?
The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy—Douglas Adams' classic comic novel finally comes to the big screen with rapper Mos Def and actor Martin Freeman (form BBC's “The Office”) in the lead roles.
Hot Wheels—McG, the attention-deficite director of Charlie's Angels, gives up entirely and makes a film based on a toy that goes “vroom, vroom.”
Spy Hunter—The quarter-gobbling video game from the '80s is back as an action movie vehicle (so to speak) for wrestlin' thespian The Rock. Who hasn't been clamoring for this one?
Iron Man—Who will star in it? Tom Cruise or Nicolas Cage? We'll just have to wait and see. Everybody's promising this will be the next big superhero movie.
The Green Hornet—Unless, of course, this is the next big superhero movie. Kevin Smith will be directing. Is George Clooney still interested in starring?
Batman Begins—But the next big superhero movie will probably be this one, starring Christian Bale as the caped crusader and Ken Watanabe (The Last Samurai) as evil villain Ra's al Ghul.
Die Hard 4—Yes, somebody talked Bruce Willis into doing another, balder version of Die Hard. My suggestion for a title? Die Hard 4: Die Most Hardest of Them All.
Jurassic Park IV—Idea-starved Steven Spielberg dips, once more, into the well of dinosaur cinema. Allegedly, the story on this one has the military cloning dinos for war-like purposes. So, basically, we get velociraptors with rocket-launchers. ... Well, the video game will be fun.
XXX 2: The State of the Union—Vin Diesel ducks out and gets replaced by Ice Cube.
Miss Congeniality 2—Sandra Bullock and William Shatner are back in action! Is there an original idea left in Hollywood?
Deuce Bigelow: European Gigolo—I guess not.