Week in Sloth
The Week in Sloth
“World's Biggest Airliner” (TLC 9 p.m.) John Travolta (who really, really loves airplanes) hosts this documentary about the building of the Airbus A380, an airliner as big as a shopping mall.
“Outrageous Celebrity Look-Alike Behavior: Caught on Tape” (KASA-2 7 p.m.) I realize summer TV programming is pathetic, but this is just embarrassing for all of us. FOX, couldn't you at least have dug up some footage of real celebrities behaving badly?
King Solomon's Mines (Hallmark 7 p.m.) Patrick Swayze is H. Rider Haggard's immortal adventure hero Alan Quatermain in a two-night mini-series. Last time we saw Mr. Quatermain on screen, he was played by Sean Connery (in the mediocre League of Extraordinary Gentlemen). Oh well, at least Swayze's better than Richard Chamberlain, who played Quatermain in a couple cheesy '80s flicks.
In Hell (USA 6 p.m.) Jean-Claude Van Damme is sent to a Siberian prison. Unfortunately, it's only a movie. Seems there's an evil warden who makes the inmates fight to the death in a series of marital arts duels. ... Eh, saves you the trouble of writing an actual script.
“Six Feet Under” (HBO 10 p.m.) HBO digs up a new season of its addictive funeral home drama.
“Casino” (KASA-2 8 p.m.) Like “The Restaurant” and “Blow Out,” this reality series goes behind the scenes of a business (in this case, a Las Vegas casino) for some real-life intrigue. (We hope.)
“The Next Action Star” (KOB-4 9 p.m.) NBC's new reality series barely qualifies as a fresh idea, but watching wannabe action stars go head-to-head in a series of stunt-based competitions for a movie contract at least has a point (unlike the rather similar “Fear Factor”).
“Joe Schmo 2” (Spike 7 p.m.) The first season of this jokey series worked only because the titular stooge the Spike boys stranded in a fake reality show turned out to be such a genuinely nice guy. Why do it again?
“Sex and The City” (TBS 8 p.m.) If you liked “the city” but hated “the sex,” here's your chance to catch the hit HBO comedy in its newly expurgated basic cable run.
“The Simple Life 2” (KASA-2 7 p.m.) Paris Hilton and Nicole Ritchie are back for another seasons of “fish out of water” hijinks. This time they're driving across the country in a pickup truck.
“Quintuplets” (KASA-2 7:30 p.m.) Andy Richter (sadly, no longer controlling the universe) returns as the befuddled father of four kids.
“Method & Red” (KASA-2 8:30 p.m.) Rap stars and famed underarm deodorant spokesmen Method Man and Red Man do the sitcom thing.
“Ashlee Simpson Show” (MTV 11:30 p.m.) Man, you gotta love nepotism. Jessica Simpson's little sister--star of “7th Heaven” and wannabe pop star--gets her own reality show. In the future, everyone will have their own reality series. ... God help us all.