The Worst Films of 2005
As hard as it might be to choose the best films in a year that offered few true standouts, it's doubly hard to choose the worst films in a year that offered a flood of risible sequels (Miss Congeniality 2: Armed and Fabulous, Son of the Mask, Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo), horrid TV-to-movie translations (The Honeymooners, Bewitched), seriously dumb action vehicles (The Pacifier, xXx 2: State of the Union, Doom) and a movie starring Ashlee Simpson (the prophetically titled Undiscovered). Here, however, are the worst of the worst:
This past year won't exactly go down as a high-water mark in the history of cinema. Feb. 24 kicked off an unprecedented 19-week box office slide that carried well into the normally lucrative summer movie season. By the close of 2005, attendance had dropped 11 percent and the box office was down more than five percent from 2004 (which isn't exactly chump change when you're talking about an $8.4 billion industry). The most likely culprit? Bad films. Despite a wealth of Oscar bait that just missed the mark (Cinderella Man, Walk the Line, North Country) and megawatt blockbusters that weren't quite up to snuff (Fantastic Four, War of the Worlds, Stealth), 2005 did manage a few standouts. This, then, is my collection of this year's best of the best:
The year 2005 may be remembered less for its shows and more for its news coverage. Sure, there was plenty happening in TV Land: Stars were learning to dance, Danny Bonaduce was breaking, “Lost” finally showed us what was in the hatch and “Desperate Housewives” was sinking into an almost insurmountable second-season slump. But it was the nonstop news events that had us glued to our sets, for better (the empathetic Katrina coverage) or worse (the scandalous Michael Jackson trial).
“Dancing With the Stars 2” (KOB-4 7 p.m.) Brand new year, same old crap.
“Four Kings” (KOB-4 7:30 p.m.) NBC's newly revamped Thursday night lineup adds one newcomer to the mix, this New York City-set sitcom from the producers of “Will & Grace.” Seth Green and some other guys play a quartet of best friends who move into a fabulously large and ridiculously inexpensive apartment in Manhattan. Yes, it's another blatant attempt to clone “Friends,” but it does have Seth Green, who's funny even in the worst of circumstances.