Writer/director M. Night Shyamalan (The Sixth Sense, Signs, The Village) all but sinks his career with this glum, sluggish, insufferably self-important fantasy about the superintendent (Paul Giamatti) of a run-down apartment complex who discovers a mysterious mermaid (Bryce Dallas Howard) in his swimming pool. Turns out she's some sort of fairy tale character who's there to ... hell, I don't even know. The talk-heavy script requires everyone to stand around having endless straight-faced discussion about "narfs" and "scrunts." After a while, the film's preposterous made-up mythology starts to sound like excerpts from the worst Dr. Seuss book ever written. 110 minutes PG-13.