Woody Allen delivers his most traditional (and least entertaining) ensemble comedy in ages. A random cast of actors (Jessie Eisenberg, Penélope Cruz, Alec Baldwin, Roberto Benigni, Ellen Page, Allen himself) enacts a quartet of love stories of fair-to-middling interest in the Eternal City. There's some terrible casting (Page as a sexpot Hollywood starlet?), some inexplicable plotting (Baldwin's character turns into an omniscient, ghostly narrator for no clear reason), some familiar jokes (Allen's opera-centric story line is stolen straight from "The Simpsons") and a lot of annoying mannerisms (as usual, half the cast is imitating Allen). 102 minutes R.