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GUARANTEED FRESH as of Friday March 24, 2017 at 1:31 pm Times and listings are for Friday 3/24 through Thursday 3/30


Fifty Shades Darker

Personally, I'd rather be waterboarded--but you're a consenting adult, and you're welcome to make your own decisions. At least this follow-up to 2015's suburban mommy porn Fifty Shades of Grey has some faint hint of a storyline. After the first film--which consisted almost entirely of contract negotiations between two toxically boring people--Anastasia (Dakota Johnson) finds herself drawn back to riding-crop-addicted businessman Christian (Jamie Dornan) and must confront a string of his angry/crazy former girlfriends. Plus, spanking. 115 minutes R.
 

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