Alibi V.15 No.13 • March 30-April 5, 2006 

Dining In

Cooking with Cat Food: It's a Fancy Feast!

Your guide to turning this little-known delicacy into the purr-fect dish

It's sweeping the nation. Cats and chefs across America are getting frisky for cat food—an easy-to-use, inexpensive, yet delicately flavored food. We thought we'd get in on the action, just in time for those spring soirées!

Pussy Pâté

The good thing about cat food is that it already is pâté. Spread it on your favorite cracker, garnished with parsley, sliced olives or some dry Science Diet® for a little crunch. Also, when expecting finicky guests, serve in a crystal, stemmed glass. To complete the overall experience, when the pâté is ready to be enjoyed, click the glass with a silver spoon. Gour-meow!


1 can beef-flavored wet cat food

Some crackers (your choice)


Assemble ingredients onto a sumptuous appetizer platter. Enjoy!

Cream of Cat Food Soup

Turn that soup du jour into soup du purr with a little help from cat food.


1 can turkey- or fish- (for authentic clam chowder taste) flavored wet cat food

1 can cream of mushroom soup

1 cup milk


Combine cat food, canned soup and milk in large saucepan over medium heat. Heat through. Serve with crackers or toast for a great hot lunch for you and the kids.

Cat Food over Rice

Impress dinner guests with a modern take on an ordinary meal, and don't be surprised if Whiskers thinks it's something to meow about, too!


2 tablespoons butter

1 stalk celery, chopped

1 scallion, chopped

1 clove garlic, skins removed and minced

1 can turkey-flavored wet cat food

3 tablespoons milk

1 cup steamed rice

1 sprig fresh tarragon, for garnish


In a saucepan, sauté celery, scallions and garlic in butter for 3 minutes, then add cat food and milk. Let the mixture cook on a low heat for 10 more minutes. Serve over steamed rice, garnished with fresh tarragon.

Tacos del Gatos

Stuff that hot taco with something other than beef—something made for a tomcat, but fit for a king! Tacos del gatos easily turn an ordinary party into a fiesta, and with a total preparation time of approximately 15 minutes, you can count this one as a quickie.


1 package of 12 crispy taco shells

2 tablespoons cooking oil

2 cans wet beef-flavored cat food

1 tablespoon chili powder

1 cup shredded lettuce

1/2 cup chopped onions

1/2 cup diced tomatoes

1 cup shredded cheese

1 cup pico de gallo


Brown cat food in oil over medium heat for 5 minutes. Add chili powder and sauté for another 3 minutes. Stuff taco shells with warm cat food, lettuce, onions, tomatoes, cheese and pico de gallo.

Grilled Cat Burgers

With the ostrich burger, buffalo burger, turkey burger, veggie burger and the portobello burger, we know you already enjoy a wide spectrum of burger options. But why not add one more member to an already amazing family? Feed the beast with a new kind of burger: the cat burger!


4 cans wet cat food (any flavor)

1 package of 6 sesame seed hamburger buns

6 slices American cheese (not optional)

1 tomato, sliced

1 onion, sliced

6 lettuce leaves, washed and patted dry

Your choice of condiments


Preheat grill to high heat. Remove cat food from cans and mold into 6 equal-sized patties. Place patties on hot grill. (This will char-grill the exterior and really seal in those juices—meow!) Once the bottom side turns a dark brown color, flip burgers to the other side. This is also a good time to toast those buns. (It's imperative to use a good, thick bun so they won't get too soggy once those sweet cat food juices start flowing.) Place a slice of cheese on each patty and allow to melt before removing patties from the grill. Serve patties on bun with tomato, onion, lettuce and any combination of mustard, mayonnaise, ketchup, Tabasco sauce, etc. Serve with French-fried potatoes and a nice, cold beer.

Tuna Surprise

You might remember this dish if you ever ate public school cafeteria food. If you loved it then, you'll love it now because this recipe, including the cat food, is similar to that of the standard school lunch. Grab your plastic partitioned tray, your cat Fluffy and get in the line for deliciousness.


2 cans fish-flavored wet cat food

1 can creamed corn

1 can mushrooms

1/2 cup mayonnaise


Preheat oven to 375ºF. In large mixing bowl, combine cat food, creamed corn, mushrooms and mayonnaise. Pour into glass baking dish and cook for 20 minutes or until top is golden brown and crusty. Allow to cool before enjoying. Serve with dinner rolls and fruit cocktail in heavy syrup.

Warning: Some may deduce that because one can cook with cat food, dog food may be used as a substitute. This assumption is wrong. Man's best friend's food is definitely not man's best friend and the consequences of eating it will leave you parked on the toilet for days.

Got any tips or cat food recipes of your own? Send them in or post them on our blog at