These veggie hot dogs aren’t for weenies
Tofu Pups suck. Smart Dogs are stupid. With the grill season upon us, those of you suckers for smoke and char are probably wondering to yourself, “How do I make a sweet-ass vegan hot dog?” Glad you asked.
A killer dawg (one that can trick a carnivore, cuz really that’s the best litmus test) hinges on three things: good sauce, good heat, good brand of dog. With that in mind, listed below is the kind of dog we have been serving up.
4 Yves brand jumbo vegan dogs
1 quart pale ale
1 cup sauerkraut
Olive oil for brushing
4 Van de Kamp buns
Whole grain mustard
“Special sauce”: combine 1/2 cup each of diced pickles, vegenaise and ketchup
1) In a large bowl, soak the hot dogs in your pale ale. Let sit for at least 20 minutes. (By boozing up your hot dogs, you will incur much more flame from the grill, meaning the dogs will blister and pop more like meat. When choosing a beer, go for something mildly hoppy and a little bitter.)2) Fire up your grill. Slice jalapeños into long strips and add to your sauerkraut. Prepare “special sauce.”3) Remove dogs and slice lengthwise without actually cutting dogs in half. Brush with olive oil and place on grill with tongs, making sure dog is diagonal on the grill bars rather than perpendicular (makes for better grill marks).4) Cook dogs, hitting each side for about a minute. On the last turn throw the bun onto the grill. Assemble and sauce. Top with sauerkraut and/or onions. Eat in a bikini.
Soundtrack: Live’s "Lightning Crashes" (long story)